Comet Chaser [Contact]
Member Since: 28 Jul 2012
Membership status: Member
Bio:

Comet Chaser


Comet Chaser is my OC, black stallion, meteor for his cutie mark, his special talent is gathering rocks from space. He has two adventure fics, one in which hes an adult and the other is his foalhood days. Yes, hes the son of luna and for bucks sake get over it, hes not exactly spoiled rotton for it.


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Stories by Comet Chaser [9] Series by Comet Chaser [0] Reviews by Comet Chaser [4] Favorite Series [0] Comet Chaser's Favorites [0]
 
Reviews by Comet Chaser
Characters: Octavia
Canon: S1
Genre: Tragedy
Pairing: None
POV: 3rd
Status: On Hiatus
Warnings: Violence
• Everypony • • 2250 words

Octavia's background is explored in a different way... and you see that the posh player at the gala is not how she appears in the least...

[Reviews - 1]
Reviewer: Comet Chaser Signed star
Date: 13 Sep 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

dude...no

Characters: Octavia, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike, Twilight Sparkle, Vinyl Scratch
Canon: S2
Genre: Comedy, Slice-of-Life
Pairing: None
POV: 3rd
Status: Complete
Warnings: None
• Everypony • • 6357 words

Pony parodies of various Monty Python Sketches. Trust me, it's better than it sounds.

[Reviews - 5]
Reviewer: Comet Chaser Signed starstarhalf-star
Date: 13 Sep 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Rarity hates Spam

I absolutely loved it, you substituted all the right characters without losing any of the personalities, five stars

Characters: Octavia, Vinyl Scratch
Canon: None
Genre: Slice-of-Life
Pairing: F/F
POV: None
Status: Complete
Warnings: None
• Everypony • • 1462 words
You know Vinyl Scratch.

Everypony knows Vinyl Scratch: Cocky, sure of herself, parties all night and likes her music loud and the beats louder.

And talking about herself in the third person.

What? It's fun.

Okayokayokay... so anyway, you're wondering how I first met my better half, right? (And don't tell her I called her that - she'll rib me about it me all day.)

Well, the whole thing kinda began somewhere you'd never expect to find me...
[Reviews - 2]
Reviewer: Comet Chaser Signed starstar
Date: 13 Sep 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Overture

Great story i felt for vinyl here, but i think her relationship with tavi wasnt very specific, four stars

Characters: Mane 6
Canon: None
Genre: Tragedy
Pairing: None
POV: None
Status: On Hiatus
Warnings: None
• Almost Everypony • • 1091 words
flutter shy had a nice day until, apple jack came over and asked for here help but when she got back she got a present what's inside it
[Reviews - 2]
Reviewer: Comet Chaser Signed
Date: 16 Sep 2013 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: the present

Okay... no offense meant by this but it needs some work. I'll keep it in bullet points...

1. Indent your paragraphs, even with double spacing this makes it a much easier read

2. Fluttershy is one word, don't adhere to microsoft word's spellcheck, especially not in fanfiction

3. Your actions have almost no feeling to them, you're listing them off without any adjectives involved, these are CRUCIAL

4. Simple but Gentle is redundant because the word "nudge" conveys that anyway. Most adverbs are pointless, make sure your verbs tell the whole message while focusing on description of the nouns.

5. Dialogue consists of its own paragraph. You can describe the mannerism of their movement while they speak and occasionally how they talk, but dont add setting in with speech.

6. Capitilization, beginning of sentances, names, and beginning of dialogue

7. Bears dont eat apples, ever. I know you can take some creativeness here but do at least some back research. Squirrells would be more believable.

8. Off* "Of my farm" doesnt make sense

9. Never use "Uh" in dialogue unless you're referring to a dopey sort of character. Shyness and hesitation is described with"Um"

Im sorry i dont have more time to help with this, and none of this is meant to be rude, but i want to help you with this as much as I can.



Author's Response: I know man plus I abandoned it so don't worry