If you’re reading this, then you must’ve made it passed Book 1! Mozel tov! I’m glad you’re here so we can continue the story where we left off! Anyways, if you’re new here, my name is Crimson Flare Gun, and I’ll be narrating the story. If you haven’t read Book 1 yet, it is recommended that you read at least chapters 1, 2, 4, 9, 10, 11, 13, 29, and 30 of that story because they’re important. Anyways, I’m from the city of Mareami and I run Flare’s Pizza Parlor, the best pizza joint in Equestria. I’m here in Ponyville to gain peace of mind. I like that song, don’t you? If you don’t like Boston, you must not have a good taste of music, way better than the music from today. Bleh! Katy Perry is ok though… and… wait I’m getting off track.
Anyways, I was picked on a lot back in Mareami because I was different. I met the Mane Six and they helped me feel welcomed. There were some rough times but we made it passed them. I then met Red Engineer and Crystal Iceblast.
Red Engineer, or Engie that we call him, is an exact replica of the engineer from Team Fortress 2, but a little different. I mean there are plenty of engineers so some are bound to be different. He’s great at mechanics but he’s also a jerk at times, but we love ‘em the same.
Crystal Iceblast, like Engie, I met her back when Lord Thorn was in town and we were fighting for an X-Wing he was selling. Oh wait, I didn’t mention that back at Engie’s description? Oh well, you know now. She’s nice, but she’s…. not the most intelligent in our group.
Blaze Goldheart is a draconian, half-pony, half-dragon with phoenix powers. Hey don’t call him OP! It’s who he is! Don’t hate him for who he is! How do you think those stripped bat-winged alicorn OCs that are married to Twilight feel? Anyways, Blaze is married Rainbow Dash and he’s a Wonderbolt. Very sensitive, but very loyal, much like his wife.
Psyche Illusion, the Meg Griffin our group, but still the smartest since he has a PH.D in astronomy. He corrects us a lot, but we wouldn’t be who we are today if we haven’t met him….. a bunch of jerks that burp in his face.
And finally we have Aquatic Armor, a very kind and quiet pony that always wears that same blue armor because it’s a family heirloom, but still, change your clothes every so often, brah!
Anyways, we’re the Noble Six, backups to the Mane Six. So that’s pretty much all you need to know about us. You’ll find out the rest in the story. Oh! I almost forgot! Have you watched Family Guy? You know the cutaway gags, right? Yeah, we do that here too, but don’t worry. Most of the things in the cutaway gags are usually non-canon….. usually. Oh, and also-
“Ok, narrator, I think they get the point. I’m getting really tired of just sitting here waiting for the signal. Can we move already?” I complained to myself while sitting on a branch of a tre- “Do they need to know all the details?”
Ok fine then. Is that really how much I complained back then? Wow. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the new lulz I have in stock for you, my friends! Let us begin!
It was three months since we stopped Discord and this so called 'doctor'. We all start our story with Spike the dragon, you know him right? Well if you're too stupid to realize. No I'm kidding, none of you are stupid! But if you need a friendly reminder, he's a purple dragon that lives with Twilight Sparkle, and he so far appeared in every chapter in my story. Now Spike is my bro. Not biological bro, but like a brutha from another mutha, or bro from another mo. Anyways, so Spike was walking through Ponyville, and he was humming a little tune and walking past the citizens of Ponyville. In the background, Derpy knocked into Golden Harvest and made her spill her groceries, even her milk. Good thing nopony cried. Anywho, let's just skip to the point. Spike was walking through the park, then while he passed a tree a pizza slice was thrown on his face.
"WHOA! What the?" he cried. He grabbed the pizza out of his face and looked at it with a confused look on his face. "Is this... pizza?" He looks up in the tree and sees me. "Flare?!"
"Sup brah?” I waved. “BAZINGA!”
"Somehow I knew this was your bidding." Spike said.
"I don’t bid. The bidder always talks to fast and I always end up buying something I can’t afford. Hey you interested in a grandfather clock?” I asked. “I already have a ku-ku clock and that’s loud enough.”
"What exactly are you doing anyway?" Spike asked.
"Take a wild guest." I said.
"A wild 'guest'?" he said confusingly. "You talking about Pinkie, right?"
"That poor excuse for a chef Lyra has been undercooking, overcooking, and spoiling my inventory, Spike. It's pretty disgusting!" I said. "I may do it sometimes, but Lyra is certainly losing it big time!"
"How would you know it's not Bon Bon?" Spike asked.
"I don’t, I’m automaticly assuming, like racist ponies.” I said. ”Besides, Lyra usually takes over the kitchen while I'm on break.”
"Maybe you should give her some pointers." Spike suggested.
"I don’t have any fingers, brah. See? You see a finger on here?” I asked him as I showed him my hoof.
“At least you’re not showing me a finger I wouldn’t like to see.” Spike said.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Nothing.” Spike said.
“No tell me.” I demanded.
“I… I really shouldn’t.” Spike said.
“Spike, I swear, you’re more worried than when River Song met Sweetie Belle.” I said.
A cutaway gag shows River Song from Doctor Who meeting Sweetie Belle. “Hello, sweetie!” River Song said.
“Umm… hi.” Sweetie Belle said awkwardly. “How does she know my name?” The cutaway ends.
"What is it exactly that you're doing anyway?" Spike asked.
"It's been a while since I had given Blaze a good prank. I've been trying to get him all week, but he just keeps dodging them." I explained.
"Blaze is a Wonderbolt, dude." he reminded me.
"So?" I asked.
"So, of course he's gonna dodge them." he said.
"How are you so certain? I was able to get Rainbow Dash and she did a Sonic Rainboom. Can other ponies do that?" I asked.
"Not that I know of, but perhaps the reason you got Rainbow Dash is because she's a mare." he said and laughed.
"Seriously? That's the best joke you can come up with? Like seriously actually?" I asked.
"You got a better one?" he asked.
"Yeah. Why did the chicken cross the road?" I asked.
"This better not be another Scootaloo joke, bro!" he complained. "Because that joke was dead for a long..." Before he can finish that sentence, I already threw a pizza on his face.
"To become flat like pizza 30 minutes or less!" I said and laughed. “Lawl lawl lawl!”
"That didn't make any sense!" he said.
"Didn't make any dollars either girly boy. Winky face." I said with a wink.
"Don't ever compare me to Michael Jackson again!" he said after I called him a 'girly boy'.
"Kay, I won't... manly girl." I teased him and then I threw another pizza at his face.
"DUDE!" Spike yelled. “You know if this spoiled pizza didn’t smell so…” Spike then takes a bite of the spoiled pizza I threw on his face. “… so good, then I’d…” he takes another bite. “… totally kill- oh to hay with it.”
“Don’t worry, I know who my targets are. I wouldn’t throw a pizza to a random pony.” I said. “Hey if you’re not busy tonight, how about we go play some Fable?”
"I'd say yes if I didn't accidently throw your X-BUCKS down the toilet." he said.
"WHAT?!" I yelled. "WHOA!" I then fell off the tree and landed in the bushes. "OUCH! I think I landed on my… umm… what’s a fancy word for neck?” I rubbed my neck as I got up and stepped out of the bushes.
"Look at your mane! You should see your mane right now!" he laughed. There were two branches on my mane like reindeer antlers. I used my unicorn magic to split the branches in half and then I threw them at Spike. "Alright, you asked for it now, bro!"
"Bring it on!" he said mischievously. I started throwing pizzas at him. "Ha! Missed me!" he teased. I kept missing him. "You wouldn't hit a baby dragon!" I threw another slice at him. "You couldn't hit a baby dragon!" I threw another one. "In fact you couldn't hit a barn door!"
"Hold still!" I yelled.
All the slices I threw went on another tree, a market stall, Derpy's face (except she seemed happy about it), some building walls, and many other places, including Twilight who was writing a letter to Celestia.
"Dear Princess Celestia. Today I learned..." A pizza went in her mouth before she could continue. She just chewed it and swallowed and continued writing.
Meanwhile, Zecora was making a potion, and while her back was turned, a pizza fell into her recipe. She puts some ingredients in the pot, stirs it, and gives it a taste.
"Mmm, a delightful taste sensation!" she said, but suddenly, she grows pimples all over her body. "But perhaps it's time I needed a vacation."
And even AppleJack and her brother Big McIntosh got affected. They were playing with horseshoes before it happened. "Alright, brother. You can do it!" AppleJack said. Big Mac was aiming for the horseshoe stick thingy and he throws two of his horseshoes, but misses. "That's alright, Big Mac. Ya got one more!" Just then, a pizza was suddenly thrown near AppleJack, but it hit her barn door. "Now what was that for?! Throwin’ pizzas at yer sister, while ah was just tryin to help!? How dare ya?!”
"Nnnnope.” Big Mac shook his head and said.
“Explain yourself!” AppleJack demanded.
“Nnnope.” Big Mac said.
“Oh yeah because then the fandom would go crazy if ya said anythin’ else, right?” AppleJack asked.
“Eeyup!” Big Mac nodded.
“Alrighty then.” AppleJack said.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy just finished bathing her bunny Angel. "There we go. All done!" she said. Angel wiped his forehead, relieved that his bath was over. “I do hope nothing falls out of the sky and lands on you, Angel, because then I’d have to bathe you again.” Just then, a safe falls on Angel. “Oh… my.” Fluttershy turns the combination of the safe and opens it, and Angel’s head was sticking out of the bottom and stars were floating around his head. “Are you ok, Angel?” she asked. Angel dizzingly walked out of the safe, until my pizza falls on him. “I guess another bath then?” Flutters asked with an embarrassing smile and squee.
Now, Mr. and Mrs. Cakes was getting a giant wedding cake done, and Pinkie Pie was in there helping. Suddenly, the babies were crying upstairs. "Oh dear." Mr. Cakes said.
"Don't worry Mr. Cakes! I'll take care of this!" Pinkie said.
"Actually... mind if we do it? Just watch over the cake, and make sure it doesn't get ruined, will ya please?" Mrs. Cake asked.
"I can do that too!" Pinkie said with a squee.
As the Cakes walked upstairs, Mrs. Cake mumbled, “Knew we should’ve hired that babysitter.
“Edward Scissorhovves had bad ratings.” Mr. Cake said.
As the two bakers walked upstairs, Pinkie turns to the cake and smirks at it. "Nope, you ain't fooling me this time, pal! I am not eating you! So I'm just gonna turn around, and when I turn back, you'll be exactly the same!" Pinkie turns around, and then Pinkie turns back and the cake was still the same. "There! Just as I left it!” Just then, one of my pizzas splatters on her face.
"Thank you, dear! We knew we can count on-" Mrs. Cake said but got stopped after they saw there was pizza on her Pinkie’s face.
“I protected the cake, just like you asked!” she said.
“You know, I’ve seen weirder.” Mr. Cake said.
And then the last slice of pizza I threw landed on Blaze’s face. “HEY!” he complained.
Spike and I looked at Blaze, and then I gave Spike a smirk. "Well, well, well! I believe my work here is done! I hit Blaze and I hit a barn door. Sooo… yeah. Lawl at your face.” I said as I poked Spike’s nose. He then slapped my hoof away. "Spike my friend; someday you'll understand the wonderful nature of pranking.
“I do know the wonderful nature of pranking. I grew up with Twilight, her brother, and a princess that likes to play jokes, so I pretty much know a bunch of pranks, and I know how to defend myself. I’m a black belt at Kung Fu and I know a great deal of it.” Spike explained.
“Well I grew up with a bunch of bullies, so I pretty much can handle any type of physical confrontation, be it noogies, swirlies, purple nurples, wet whillies, and of course the ultimate classic – why are you hitting yourself?” I explained.
Blaze marched towards us with pizza sauce and cheese all over his face. "Flare? Is this your work?" he asked as held a pizza on his hooves.
"No, that's Lyra's work. I don't spoil my pizzas. I'm well experienced in the fine art of this particular culinary." I said.
"I see." Blaze said. "What's going on guys?"
"I was just mailing this letter from Twilight to Princess Cadance when I just ran into Flare - whom started throwing pizzas at me." Spike said.
"These pizzas weren't meant for you at first. They were for Blaze." I said.
"You made all these pizzas for me?" Blaze asked.
"No, like I said, Lyra made the pizzas. I just thought of disposing them properly.” I corrected him.
“By throwing them at me.” Blaze said.
“Yeah, pretty much.” I nodded.
"I see.” He nodded.
"So what's going on, brah?" I asked him.
"Nothing much. I just came back from Wonderbolt training.” Blaze said. “It turns out that if you do a flip while holding your tail, it’ll give you huge cramps on your shoulders. What's going on with you, man?"
"I was throwing pizzas at Spike until you showed up." I said.
"And you missed me completely." Spike said with a smirk, but then I just threw a pizza on his face. “How did I not see that coming?”
"Hey Blaze, quick head’s up, Lauren Faust said Rainbow Dash is gonna have a boyfriend so you better watch out.” I warned him.
“She doesn’t work for Hasbro anymore, dude.” Blaze corrected me.
“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t gain the news.” I corrected him. “So you better prepare yourself.”
“Uh huh.” Blaze said in an uncaring tone. “Anyways, you two want to see a cool new trick I learned?”
"No thanks Blaze, I gotta deliver this letter." Spike said. "How about you Flare?"
"Why are you asking me if Blaze wants to show me something?” I asked. “Anyways, I gotta head back to work, but I'll catch you brahs on the flipside, but the question is, where is the flipside? That the other side of Equestria or something?" I asked. “Or are we talking about something Discord-related? OH, maybe we’re talking about something dirty.”
"Alright, it's cool bro. I'll see ya around!" Blaze said.
"Cya dude!" Spike said.
"Oh, one more thing. Don’t say what, but I have something really cool to show you!" I said.
“What?” they both asked.
I then shoved some garlic rolls in their mouths. "I told you not to say what, but did you listen? Did you listen? Anyways, those are free of charge, T-T-Y-L!" So I started trotting across down, looking at all the ponies doing their jobs or playing, or maybe even playing on an arcade machine that is questionably outside. I look around and I see ponies buying off of stalls, I see the Cutie Mark Crusaders that are jumping rope, I see ponified Sheldon Cooper complaining about why his tomatoes are a day old instead of just getting picked that very day, and eventually I see two of my friends, Aquatic Armor and Crystal Iceblast playing chess.
"King me!" Crystal yelled after putting one of her pawns at the end of the chess board.
"This isn't even checkers, Crystal." Aqua reminded her.
"King me! So give me back my queen!" Crystal yelled.
"Are you two playing chess? Did you know chess is for NEEEERDS?!” I teased.
"So? What's wrong with being a nerd?" Crystal asked.
"I see ya play chess sometimes, Flare." Aqua said to me.
"Yeah, but I suck at it. You’re only a nerd if you’re winning.” I said.
"So that makes you the nerd, Aqua!" Crystal yelled while standing on her chair and pointing to Aqua's face and even poking his nose. Just then Aqua, takes out a container hoof sanitizer and rubs it on his muzzle.
“Have nothing to say back, Aqua? Heh.” Crystal chuckled. “Nopony ever has any insult to give me back, that’s why I’m the alpha-mare.”
“Why you the alpha-mare?” I asked.
“On the internet, somepony insults me, I say something back that looks like I’m teasing them and they say nothing back. Alpha-mare! Also, it means that I’m not released to the public so don’t look at me.” Crystal explained.
“Alright, what about you, Aqua?” I asked.
"Well I did fix a water leak at the water plant today. Other than that, it's just an ordinary day." Aqua said.
"Yeah a little too ordinary. I wonder when we'll have another epic adventure?" Crystal asked.
Aqua gave himself a facehoof. "Oh dear Celestia, not another adventure. That last one we had was good enough for me. I think everypony is well aware of the Noble Six now." he said.
“Excuse me, Aqua?” I asked.
“Sorry… oh my LUNA. Happy now?” Aqua asked.
“I’m not unhappy.” I said. “Anyways, yeah, I agree, I’m still lovin’ this Noble Six thing.”
“Same here, Flare! Same here!” Crystal said excitedly.
"I'm glad you are, Crystal! I'm glad you are!" I said. "See? I told you the Noble Six would be in control. I told you they'd be known!"
"I never denied it in the first place." Aqua said.
"Really? Because I… I thought it was you that thought that thought… wait… I thought, you thought… hang on…. I thaw you thaw- sigh…” I had trouble saying what I needed to say. “I thought you thought the Noble Six wouldn’t thought… oh for Wizard of Hope’s sake.”
“I-I get what ya’re sayin’ Flare, no need to blow a fuse.” Aqua said.
“What?” I asked as my ears sparked. “Anyways, I thought you thought the Noble Six wouldn’t be well known.”
"No that was Psyche." he said.
"Oh yeah, that's right?" Crystal nodded. “It’s always Psyche that seems to disagree, doesn’t it?”
"Well you two enjoy your little chess game. I'm heading back to work and… umm… I dunno… work. I guess that’s the best excuse I can make. I said, and then trotted away.
"Cya, Flare!" Aqua said.
"Wait, he didn't even wait to hear our goodbyes." Crystal said to Aqua.
"Oh wait, B-T-W..." I said as I walked back to them. "GARLIC ROLLS!" I shoved more garlic rolls into their mouths and trotted off again.
So I trotted around until I finally reached my shop. I do say the word ‘trotted’ a lot, don’t I? Anyways, I went inside, put on my apron that says 'SHOOP DA COOK' on it, and then I put on my hair net. Two friends of mine were walking in my store, Engie and Woodenshy. Engie was blabbering on to him on how to get rust off pipes, and Woodenshy was holding his ears while Engie wasn't looking.
"And that's why the rust is a chemical change not a physical." Engie said to him. Woodenshy put his hoof on his head like he was holding and gun, and made a shooting sound. "Ah mean ah know while ya are tryin’ to put the rust off using windex might help..." Woodenshy kept making suicidal hoof gestures. "... but ah can let ya borrow this information, if ya promise not to get food on it ‘n stuff."
"No thanks, I'm good." Woodenshy said to him.
"Hey Engie! Hey Woodenshy!" I said to them.
"Howdy Flare! Ya wanna hear this info on how to clean rust off of pipes?" Engie asked me.
"No!" Woodenshy whispered at me, shaking his head and hooves real fast.
"No thanks, Engie. I got stuff to do right now." I said.
“Hey, Flare?” Engie asked.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“You do realize toothpicks are less safe to use than dental floss, right?” he asked me as he pointed to the basket of toothpicks on my counter. “Besides, floss is more effective. Ya should really replace these.”
“You can put that in my suggestion box over there.” I pointed to a suggestion box hanging on the wall.
Engie nodded. “That might work.” So I trotted into the kitchen, but Engie wasn’t done talking to Wood. "Hey Wood, ya wanna hear how to remove bubble gum off of skunks?" Wood just sighed and gave himself a facehoof.
So I trotted into the kitchen (I know I said it, but I wanted to say it again) and I saw Lyra cooking. "There you are, boss!" she said.
"Hey Lyra! Just threw out those spoiled pizzas for ya!” I said as I winked at her and made a ‘saliva going through my side teeth’ sound.
"Thanks! So I can go back to the tables now?" she asked me.
"No. I want you to clean out the dumpster." I said to her.
She frowned. "You're joking right?"
"Of course I am. Go back to those tables, underling!" I said to her as I laughed like an evil mastermind, but without the mastermind part.
"Yippie!" she said excitedly as she ran outside.
“You know throughout the time she’s worked for me, she hasn’t talked about humans as much as the fandom thinks.” I said. So I started to make some pizzas. I was about to be a couple in the oven when suddenly, Bonnie hooved me over an order from the window.
"Order up!" Bonnie said.
"Thanks, Bonnie!" I said. I started to read the order and it was a space dessert pizza with extra moon cookies and a coffee for a drink, nothing dairy. "This order can only mean one thing... PSYCHE!" I cried out in excitement. So I made the pizza, got the coffee, and went over to find my buddy Psyche at a table. "I had the feeling you were here, bro!"
"How did you know?" Psyche asked. "Bon Bon tell you?"
"Nope. I just know everything, brah! Everything... everything... everything... everything..." I kept echoing in his ear.
He chuckled. "Alright, Flare. I get your point." he said to me.
"So what's going on, Meg- I MEAN PSYCHE?" I asked him.
"Well I started my day with waffles." he said.
"For breakfast right?" I asked.
"No for dinner." he said sarcastically.
"Really? But it's only 1:30." I said.
"I was being sarcastic, dude." he reminded me.
"You should know by now that I suck at sarcasm.” I said.
He sighed. "Sometimes I still wonder why I hang out with you."
"Cause I'm so awesome possum, and you less then three me." I said and flexed. "I mean who can outmatch Flare Gun's good looks? Check out these guns! BOOM BOOM, BABY! Headshot! Flare Gun’s guns, can’t beat ‘em!”
Psyche chuckled. "Yeah, that's totally the reason why I still hang with you." he said sarcastically.
"Sarcasm?” I asked.
"Oh congratulations, you just found out what sarcasm means. Have a cookie." Psyche offered.
I my eye pupils began to grow as Halleluiah started playing in the background and an XBUCKS achievement popped up on the lower right-hoof corner of the screen. I said in a high pitched voice, “OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOSH! HA HAAAA! I did it! Ahhhhhh! YEAH, HA HAAAA!”
“Umm… ok.” Psyche said in a confused tone. "So Flare? Have you considered..."
"Wait, where's my cookie?" I asked him cutting him off.
"Excuse me?" he asked.
"Where's my cookie? You said I can have a cookie." I said.
"Oh so you just found out what sarcasm means, and now you just forgot that fast?" Psyche asked.
“THAT WAS SARCASUM TOO?! You can’t do that, brah! I was so excited to have that cookie and you just ruined it for me! Get out! Get out of my shop, now!” I demanded. “Get outta here, stalker!”
“No, Flare, c’moooooon. Here, have a jelly-baby.” Psyche offered as he takes out his bag of jelly-babies.
“Jelly-babies? Seriously, Psyche? You have no self-respect.” I said as I put my hoof in his jelly-baby bag and took some out. “You think jelly-babies are going to help with this situation?” I asked him angrily as I ate them. “Oh those are good! But that doesn’t change a thing! Gimmie that!” I snatched the jelly-baby bag out of his hooves and started to eat them all up. “You think these jelly-babies…” I scoff down a hoof-full. “Mmm! …Are gonna help me feel better?! Mmm!”
“You enjoy that dude.” Psyche smiled and winked at me.
“I still want that cookie later.” I demanded as I kept scoffing down jelly-babies. “Thanks for the jelly-babies.” I gave the bag back to him. “You can have the rest.”
“This better not be an empty bag you’re giving me.” Psyche hoped.
“Don’t worry, I left something in there.” I said.
“One… ok… better than nothing.” Psyche said as he looked inside the bag and nodded.
“Anyways, I gotta go back to work, but like always, it’s great seeing you. Smiley face.” I said.
“Nice to be seen.” Psyche teased. So I gave him a bro-hoof and walked back into the kitchen.
Ok now that I reintroduced the main characters of the series, Engie, Aqua, Crystal, Psyche, and Blaze, we can finally get started with the story! Oh? You thought that was part of the story? Noooo, it was just a little humor to get things warmed up. Our real story begins as the Mane Six come into my shop, and from this day forward, my life in Ponyville will never be the same again.
“Mane Six! Good to see you! I am so glad you can show up on this very day!” I said excitedly.
“The pleasure is our’s, dear!” Rarity said.
“I want a dessert pizza, Flare!" Pinkie cried out in excitement and hopped on her chair.
"Alright Pinks, calm down!" I said with a chuckle. "So what's going on with you girls?"
"Oh, Princess Celestia gave us an important task." Fluttershy said.
"Yeah, it seems Princess Cadance needs our help over at the Crystal Empire. So we decided to get lunch before we head off." AppleJack said.
"She needs help with a certain job she assigned Twilight over there. It's gonna be so awesome!" Rainbow Dash said in excitement.
"The Crystal Empire, huh? Never been there actually. Are they considered Canadians to us?" I asked.
"What's a Canadian? I mean, if you don't mind me asking." Fluttershy said.
“Ah dunno. Jibberish word. Sounds pretty alien.” AppleJack said.
“Wait, AppleJack, NO!” Rainbow yelled.
“ALIENS?!” Pinkie freaked out. “THE ALIENS ARE COMING! THEY’RE GONNA RIP OFF OUR INTERNAL ORGANS! What do the aliens even look like? Probably like Jimmy Foulon! Oh my Faust! ALIENS!”
“Ok, Pinkie, calm yourself, there are noooo aliens.” Rainbow said as she flew over to Pinkie and held onto her shoulders.
"Sorry about that, Flare.” Twilight said.
“It’s no trouble. As long as Pinkie’s the one doing it, it’s fine.” I said. “When other ponies start doing it, other’s would find it weird. I really don’t know how that works, or why.”
“Got it, Flare.” Twilight nodded.
“Also I’m acknowledged by the Friendship Agreement to accept it regardless, unless of a possible situation such as a chaotic apocalypse, donkey rebellion, tornado of any sorts created by pegasi or otherwise, or even the possibility of an alien invasion.” I explained.
“ALIENS!” Pinkie yelled.
“Oh c’mon, Flare! I just calmed her down!” Rainbow Dash complained.
“Why do you still have that agreement, darling?” Rarity asked. “Didn’t Twilight graduate you from her tutoring you on friendship?”
“I maybe a pro on friendship, as the diploma says, but I am still not going to take any unnecessary risks. To whomever I’m friends with shall regardless, under any circumstances, receive any fully sign a Friendship Agreement. It stops betrayal.”
"I tried talking him out of it once, it won’t work.” Twilight whispered to Rarity.
"Yeah she did.” I said.
“Ha-how did you hear me?” Twilight asked.
“I have ears like a Vulcan. Live long and prosper.” I said as I held my hoof up trying to do the hand signal, but… well you know.
"Hey Flare, have you seen Blaze's new trick yet?" Rainbow asked me.
"Oh I didn't have time, Dashie. I had to get back to work, but I told him I wanted to see it later though." I said.
"Alright. It sure is awesome though!" she said.
"Hey, where's Spike?" I asked.
"Right here." he said beside me.
"When did you get there?" I asked him.
"Ever since you said you trying to do the Vulcan hand signal." Spike said as he shows the Vulcan hand-signal to me.
“Show off.” I said angrily at him.
“Tell me about it.” Lyra said in an annoyed tone while carrying a tray of dishes to the kitchen.
"Are you going to the Crystal Empire with them?" I asked.
"Yep!" Spike said.
"Alright good. I grown tired of Spike getting left out of your adventures, Twilight." I said.
"Don't worry, I'm taking your advice, Flare." Twilight said.
"Ooo, Flare! You wanna come to the Crystal Empire with us?" Pinkie asked me.
"Sure! I love to!" I said. "Can the other Noble Six go too?"
"Of course, silly!" Pinkie said.
"Then it's settled! I just need to do a few things to do here and we'll head on out." I said.
"We still need our food though, sugarcube." AppleJack reminded me.
"Ah right!” I nodded. “Don't worry, Jackie! I'll get right on it." Just then, suddenly a blue unicorn with a red vest, a long straight brown mane, a briefcase cutie mark, and black boots on walks inside the shop, looking around.
"Hey who's that?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Hmm... with that fashion, she kinda looks like Flare." Rarity said.
"Who looks like Flare?" I asked as I looked around.
"Her. You know who she is, darling?" Rarity asked as she pointed to the blue pony.
I looked over and saw the pony. "Oh that's just another customer." I said, but then I realized who she really was. My eyes grew, and my pupils shrunk. "Surprise Face! WATER!" I ran over to the pony. She looked at me with a confused look.
"Huh? Do I know you from somewhere?" the pony asked.
I followed along with her. "Maybe, I dunno." I said with a shrug. "You just kinda looked like a pony I knew from the past."
"Oh really? You talking about your sister, right?" she asked.
"Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I'm talking about my sister's identical twin. Lion face." I said. We both looked away from eachother, but then smiled and she tacklehugs me.
"FLAAAAAARE!" she cried out in excitement
"WAAAAATER!" I excitedly yelled as I hugged her, and spinning her around.
“Oh… I’ve been replaced.” My friend Adventure Blade, or Keith as we call him said upsettingly.
“KEEEEEEEEITH!” I said excitedly at him.
“Flaaaaaaaaaaare!” Keith said excitedly.
“Somepony I never meeeeeeeeeeeeeet!” Water said excitedly to Keith.
“No… only Flare can do that.” Keith said as he walked off.
"Awww! What a sweet reunion, don't you girls agree?" Fluttershy commented.
"So you know her, Flare?" AppleJack asked.
"Know her? KNOW HER?! I am disappointed that would actually think that, AJ. Like seriously actually." I said. "Nah, I'm kidding. This is my older sister, Water Gun."
"Yeah, I'm his older sister, Water Gun." Water repeated.
"Nice to meet you Water Gun!" Twilight said walking towards her with her hoof out. “My name is-“ But just then, Pinkie jumps in front of her and started shaking her hoof.
"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie! I'm a friend of Flare's!" she said in a fast tone. "Any friend of Flare's is a friend of mine! I love making friends! Love, love, love! Flare is super-dooper fun, and since you're related to him, you must be so super dooper fun too!"
"Yes, I suppose you can say that." Water said to her. Pinkie was still shaking her hoof really fast.
I chuckled. "Alright Pinkie, that's enough, sista!"
Pinkie lets go. "Okay, Flare!" She then sat down. "Now where's the food?" she complained.
"We didn't order yet, Pinkie." Rainbow Dash reminded her.
"Here, how about getting acquainted with my other friends?" I said to her. "This is Twilight Sparkle, the magical reading machine. She was my personal friendship teacher here in Ponyville. Teaching me everything I need to know!”
“Nice to meet you, Twilight! You look very pretty.” Water said.
“Oh thank you!” Twilight said. “But my friend Rarity here is better known for her looks.”
“Don’t I look pretty, darling?” Rarity asked.
“Hmmm…. Meh. So-so.” Water admitted.
“Oh… I don’t like her already.” Rarity mumbled.
“She’s pretty though!” Water pointed to Fluttershy.
“Oh! That’s Fluttershy, my Ponyville mom!” I said.
“Oh, so you’re THEE Mama Fluttershy?” Water asked.
“I… umm… yeah… I… am.” Fluttershy stuttered, not really looking at Water.
“She’s shy, but you’re gonna love her! I got to her when I’m upset or sick. She sang Soft Dalek to me.” I explained.
“Oh I love Soft Dalek!” Water said. “Oh if only I was sick today.”
“So you heard of Fluttershy, huh? Has Flare told you about me?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Yes! You are… umm…. Spike, right?” Water asked.
“No…” Rainbow said with a glare. “I’m Rainbow Dash.”
“Ooooooh! Flare only mentioned you once when he was talking about his friend Blaze.” Water said.
“Oh so you talk about Blaze, but you don’t talk about me?!” Rainbow complained to me.
“I dunno a lot about you.” I said.
“Doesn’t Blaze tell you?” Rainbow asked.
“You two only reunited several months ago!” I reminded her.
“So which one is Spike?” Water asked.
“Him.” I pointed to him, and Spike waves to her.
“You hang out with a child?” Water asked. “That’s sick, bro.”
“Sick as in cool or sick as in… BLAH?” I asked.
“Blah.” Water said.
“Yeah I told him that at first.” Spike said.
“But still… it’s pretty cool that you hang out with a dragon!” Water said.
“Affirmative.” I agreed.
"Nice to meet you Water!" Spike said.
“Likewise!” Water agreed.
“And of course, we have AppleJack here! The most noble pony in the group and yet she’s underrated.” I said.
“Howdy, Water!” AppleJack said.
“You’re friends with a redneck too, huh?” Water asked.
“What?” AppleJack asked insultingly.
“No, no, she’s not a redneck. She’s southwestern. Her brother is a redneck.” I corrected her.
“Ok that there is true.” AppleJack admitted.
Water then looked around my shop and said, “I really like the look of your pizza shop, bro! You did a pretty cool job setting it up!”
"Like it? Best pizza parlor in Equestria! Over there is Lyra and Bonnie. They work for me." I said to her.
"I see." Water said. “You said you built this building from scratch, right?”
“Well, I do have Swinebutt’s robots to thank for it.” I said.
“HA!” Pinkie started laughing. “Swinebutt! That’s a funny name!”
“Who’s Swinebutt?” AppleJack asked.
“Oh Swinebutt is-“ Water started, but I cut her off.
“Umm… that’s a story we can come to another time. How about that food, huh Mane Six?” I asked.
“We didn’t order yet.” Twilight said reminded me.
“I’ll get your food right away.” I said as I ran into the kitchen to start up the Mane Six’s order.
“Sooo… Flare’s sister, huh?” Rainbow asked.
“If you would’ve been listening, you’d know.” Water said.
“Yeah… that’s definitely Flare’s sister.” Rainbow said in an annoyed tone.
“So… umm… what brings you to Ponyville?” Fluttershy asked.
"So what brings ya into Ponyville, Water?" AppleJack asked her.
"Well I was traveling around the world,but I traveled through all of it already, so now I decided to come see my brother in Ponyville." Water said.
"Aw, that's so sweet, Water." Fluttershy said.
“Hey since Flare thinks of you as a mom, I guess you should be a mom to me too then.” Water said.
“I… suppose.” Flutters said.
"So what do you do for a living, darling?" Rarity asked.
"Travel. See my briefcase plot tattoo?" Water asked pointing to her cutie mark. "That's my special talent, but a briefcase can mean anything. Anything can be inside it, that’s why I have all these spells. Mainly water spells though.”
“Just like Aqua!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“Oh yeah, Flare did mention an ‘Aquatic Armor’ as a friend of his.” Water remembered.
“He talks about the quiet armored pony, but he doesn’t talk about me, huh?” Rainbow complained.
"Well I'm sure you'll love it here in Ponyville, Water.” Twilight said. “It is always so peaceful around these parts. Just ask your brother. He says the ponies here are alot nicer than where you two are from."
"Oh yeah, Mareami is like that. If you don’t believe him, take my word for it.” Water said.
"Of course.” Twilight said. "So anything else to tell us a little bit about yourself, Water?"
"Well I'm four years older than Flare, but we were like the best of friends when we were younger. We did everything together!" Water explained. "We ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint flavored dental floss. We both also had the same problems when we were younger. It was him and me against the world."
"Oh, we're sorry to hear that, Water." Fluttershy said.
"Yeah I started traveling a year before Flare moved here. Flare was alone, but I kept in touch with him. I loved traveling around the world with my coltfriend!" Water said.
"Your coltfriend, huh?" AppleJack asked.
"Yeah. He had some errands to do." Water said. "So what about you guys? Tell me a bit about yourselves."
"Well..." Rainbow Dash started, but then Water's cell phone started ringing.
"Hang on a sec." Water said as she picked up the phone. "Hello? Oh hey, bro!"
"Is she talking to Flare?" Rainbow Dash whispered to her friends.
"Yeah I see you." Water said, waving to me who was in the kitchen. "Yeah I saw you wave, you saw me? Awesome!" The Mane Six just looked at eachother, confused, except for Pinkie.
"Ooo! Tell Flare I said hi!" Pinkie asked Water.
"What's her face said hi." Water said to me on the phone.
"What's her face? My name is Pinkie." Pinkie reminded her.
"I know, right?" Water said to me. "You use purple onions? Not green? Purple onions are pretty spicy, bro, and you have more of a chance of crying. Yes I seen you cry before. So what that I cry more than you? Well fine, be that way! WAAH WAAH WAHH!" Water teased. "Alright, less than three you too, bro. Bye." Water hangs up. "That was my brother on the phone." She said to the Mane Six.
"You don't say?" Rainbow Dash said to her sarcastically.
"I do say! I remember that one time I talked to Flare at school, and we never hung up! The call was still on for the entire day. So we used up all our minutes. Pretty crazy, huh?" Water explained.
"WOW!" Pinkie said in shock. "That really is crazy! Like oatmeal!" The other Mane Six were just confused on what Water was talking about.
"Oooookay. I wonder where our food is?" Rarity asked.
"Ya can't rush perfection, Rarity. Flare likes to make his food perfect." AppleJack said.
"Tis true. Like all fashion must be perfect, I believe I understand why Flare's trying so hard and so slow to get our meals ready." Rarity said. "Then again, he could be slacking off."
"Oh, I don't think so. I think the first thing you said is true." Fluttershy said.
Eventually, I came back with the food for the Mane Six. They thanked me, and they ate up their meals. Right after they paid, AppleJack asked me, "So sugarcube, ya ready to go?"
"Where?" I asked.
"To the Crystal Empire." AppleJack said to me.
"Oh, right. Well since my sister is in town, I might as well show her around. OH! I rhymed!" I said.
"Awww." Pinkie said upsettingly.
"It's okay, Flare." Twilight said.
"If I can, maybe I'll catch up later. But I'll catch up, only if you mustard." I teased.
"Well darling, I hope your sister enjoys her stay." Rarity said.
"I will!" Water said to her.
"Tell Cadance I said hi." I said.
"Will do!" Twilight said to me. So we all said good-bye and the Mane Six and Spike all left for the Crystal Kingdom.
"So Flare, how about showing me around town?" Water asked me.
"Wait, we should wait for my break to start." I said to her.
"Kay." she said to me. Then we both were silent for 5 seconds.
"Alright, break time! Let's go." I said to her. “Oh wait, before I leave the shop, I should collect.” I tapped on a giant pizza symbol floating on top of my shop, and then bits and element of harmony shards spreads out throughout the outside, and then I collected them all. “Ok, let’s go, but I have come back in a few hours to collect more.” So we both went outside and started trotting around town.
"So what happened since you moved to Ponyville?" Water asked me while we were trotting.
"I opened up a pizza shop, I befriended the Helmets of Armory, and I even had my own adventures!" I said to her.
"Oh yeah?" she asked to me.
"Aww yeah!" I said to her. "You should've seen me fighting those Changelings at the royal wedding." I started doing certain karate moves. "The changelings were no match for the fierce power of my hornsaber, flare, and especially not mah lazor. AH HA!" I accidently kicked a market stall and it toppled over. The pony watching the stall glared at me, and I just did an embarrassing smile, with a squee and walked away, and then Water and I continued trotting. "Oh and I also went back in time with Spike. We were wearing cardboard boxes like we were Solid Snake or something."
"Interesting!" Water said to me. "I had lots of adventures myself around Equestria. Like when I saw those ancient ruins, been through museum robberies, and I met somepony when we were in Baltimare and we’ve really hit it off.”
"Oh really?" I asked her.
"Really really!" she said. “He’s now my coltfriend.”
"Well, I didn't know you had a coltfriend. When and how did you meet?" I asked.
"We met in Baltimare at a sports club. We were both watching Nashorse. His name is Fonz Punkskull, and he's been very sweet to me!" she said.
"He's been taking good care of you, huh?" I asked.
"Yep! He protects me, and makes sure I live happily and healthy." she said.
"Well, let me tell you a bit about this town. It's very nice, and the pony folk are nice too." I said. "The only problem is, everything looks like it's still in the 1700s., and the technology here isn't very 21st century."
"That's why South Equestria can be cooler in some ways than North Equestria." Water said.
"But I'll tell you a little bit of what goes on around here." I said to her. “Our medication mainly comes from a zebra and our main source of food around here comes from southwesterns, but that’s not so bad, because let me tell you all the positive things I have to say about Ponyville that I remember.”
Just then, I began to start singing in a similar fashion to Jimmy Buffet’s song ‘The Weather is Here’. "I got worked up all my life, just wanted a few months alone." Then I was holding some lettuce and tomato. "But here's the lettuce and tomato, makes ponies just work up their fome. But Shoeshine complains of her diet. Trying to lay off the Holiday nog. Bon Bon's phone never stops ringing, she just keeps on texting her dog.”
“DON’T YOU DARE COMPARE ME TO MY COUNTERPART FROM .MOV! THAT’S OFFENSIVE!” Bonnie yelled.
I continued to sing, “Well Cherry Berry is on strike before she got her first pay day. And hear Parasol's mumbling makes me feel ponies just say neigh. Sea Whirl spends to much time on vacation, and Lemon Hearts is late to every town meeting. Dizzy Twister's mane makes me puke, just sayin that can make me sound mean. The happy is here, even though it's nudiful, nopony wears clothes, but don't run away. I mean Derpy's a klutz, but so very boldiful. I mean, everypony's special in our own special way. I feel idiotic today."
“Wow, you make this town sound very interesting. But they might only be rumors.” Water said. “Can you prove to me that this town is worth visiting, let alone living?”
“I dunno. Can a hippo wear a tu-tu?” I asked.
“I watched Fantasia so yeah, I guess.” Water said.
“Let me take you on a hot air balloon ride and I’ll show you.” I said.
So Water and I were on a hot air balloon, floating around the city as I continued singing. "Well now that's just the start of a well-deserved afternoon best. Meanwhile back in Mareami, certain ponies are starting to care less. My lawyers are calling some parents, of the Cutie Mark Crusaders attempts. I envy them for not giving u-up. But I know they'll never get its. The happy is here, it's never ever moldiful, the skies are partly cloudy with a chance of friendship. The ponies aren't cold, they make public funable, there's no place like home, so forget about that place! I'll go scream IN YOUR FACE! HA HAAAAA! In your face! Woo!”
“You’re starting to get me, bro. You’re really starting to get to me!” Water said. “I’m really starting to believe what Ponyville is all about.”
“Well, all I’m telling you is opinions, but you are yet to know the facts.” I said.
“Will you tell me the facts?” Water asked.
“Probably not, I’ll just give you more opinions.” I said. “But you can pretend they are facts. I won’t stop you there!”
“Fair enough.” Water agreed.
So we ended our balloon ride and then we started riding a Taxi carriage around town. Water was sticking her head out the window with her tongue out like a dog. I was in the carriage, relaxing, and continued singing. "If I ever go back, I'll let them learn all that I had. Because this town is old, but I don't think it's really half-bad." I went to the other window and looked at the sky. "Even if I miss my life with the palm trees, even if my life was insane." Water went over to me and put her hoof on my shoulder. I just looked at her. "And if it doesn't work out, I'll never have any doubt, that this pleasure is worth all the PAIN! RAH!" Water was startled when I yelled 'RAH'. We stood in the town square as I was concluding the song. "The happy is here, it's so very beautiful, the skies are so clear, life's so easy today. My emotions have no mold, even if I am angerful, there's still no place like home when I have it so easy today. So you understand kay? So you understand kay? So you understand kay? Even though I don't like soy hay. I need some time to pay. I need time to..." I stopped my singing after I was interrupted by an orange pony with black spikey mane, red eyes, and wore a black leather jacket, and blue jeans, with a skull as a cutie mark.
"Water!" the pony yelled. He went over to my sister and yelled at her. "How many times do I have to tell you not to hang with strangers? Especially other stallions. YOU TRYING TO CHEAT ON ME OR SOMETHING?!"
"Well... uhh..." Water studdered. I walked over to that pony with an angry look on my face.
"Hey! Who do you think you are, brah?" I asked him. "You can't talk to my sister that way! Angry face!"
"You know this wimp?" he asked water.
"No, I don't know this wimp. But I do know this pony happens to be my brother, Flare." she said to him.
"Smiley face. Nice to meet you, brah!" I said to him and my hoof out.
"Likewise." he said with a smile as he took my hoof and crushed it with his hoof. I just continued smiling, holding in the pain.
"Flare, this is my coltfriend, Fonz Punkskull." she said to me.
"Praise the Fonz!" I said. "1, 2, 3:00, 4:00 rock. 5, 6, 7:00, 8:00 rock. 9, 10, 11, 12, 12:00 rock. We gonna rock around the clock tonight!"
"Heh, I like that song.” Fonz agreed. “Way better than the music of today.”
“Oh NO DOUBT!” I chuckled.
“Well I misjudged you.” Fonz said “You seem to be a cool pony, umm…”
“Flare Gun.” I said.
“Flare Gun! That’s right!” Fonz said. “Also I was being sarcastic, you don’t look that cool.”
“Dang, I fell for it again!” I complained.
"Fonz has been really sweet to me. We met in Baltimare." she said to me.
"So I heard." I said.
"Hey, if you both are done talking about something I could care less about, how about showing us where we're staying?" he asked rudely.
"Right. I'm sure there's a Holiday Inn around here somewhere." I said, but I knew Ponyville didn't have a Holiday Inn.
"Oh actually, we were thinking of staying with you." Water said to me with a smile as she held on to Fonz’s hoof.
"Oh that's good, I know you'd be better off-WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!" I cried. "Uh, Water can I talk to you in private?"
"Sure!" Water said to me.
"No." Fonz said.
"Please, baby? He's my brother, I haven't seen him in ages!" she said to him.
Fonz sighed. "You got two minutes." he said. So Water and went close together so Fonz couldn't hear.
"Water are you crazy?" I asked her.
"Yes I am." she said to me.
"I'm glad you figured it out." I said.
"Crazy for Fonz! Eeeeee!" she screeched.
"I'm not letting that maniac in my trailer!" I said. "He looks like somepony who can mess things up!"
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"To be honest, so far, I don't really like him. I mean, I can't really judge yet, but it's off to a poor start." I said.
"Look, Fonz is such a sweet pony, you just need to get to know him a little bit." she said.
"I'll give him a chance, but I-D-K if I really should let him sleep in my house. He might murder me in my sleep, or try to steal something." I said.
"He won't steal anything, I promise." she said.
"Pinkie promise?" I asked.
"We don't have pinkys." she said.
"No, a Pinkie promise is something Pinkie made up. Cross your heart, hope to fly, stick a moose cake in your eye. Or, wait... I think it was sponge cake." I said. "Wait, how can you eat a sponge cake? I tried the sponge in my kitchen and it wasn't really bad, but... I don't get what the big deal is. How can you make a cake outta sponge?"
"Look, Flare. I trust him. He's my coltfriend. I'm sure some day you might be the best of friends! You'll see!" she said. “He’s just shy, he doesn’t want to mess things up.” I looked at Fonz and it looked like he was razoring his hooves on a grindstone.
"I'm activating security in my house just in case." I said.
"Alright time's up!" Fonz said to us even though that was far from two minutes.
"Alright, I'll let you stay, but don't steal anything, don't break anything, don't go in my bedroom, and don't even 'borrow' anything, because trust me I had that problem before." I said.
"Don't worry, I'm assuming your stuff is too useless for me anyway." he said.
"How charming." I said.
“I know!” Water said excitedly. “He’s has charming as a dad trying to teach his son to stay away from fame.”
A cutaway shows a dad with an egg. “Ok son, you see this? This is your brain.” He then throws the egg on the floor and it shatters. “And this is your brain if you turn to fame at a pre-mature age.”
“That’s an egg, dad.” The son reminded him. “Also, didn’t you have fame when you were 8?”
“I was arrested when I was 20.” The dad said. The cutaway ends.
So we all walked over to my trailer. I punched in a security code, put my hoof on a scanner, then my eye, and then my voice-activated password. "Mashed potatoes and gravy." the security system said.
"Mac and cheese." I said.
"Access granted." the security system said, and the door was unlocked.
"Oh, you upgraded your security system, bro! Nice!" Water said impressively.
“Thanks! That voice code was from an old KFC commercial.” I said.
"Security system? What are you a nerd?" Fonz asked me.
"I take that as a complement because nerds are smart. So you're calling me smart." I said to him.
"But dorky." he said.
"But... smart. Winky face." I said and I winked at him. So we all stepped inside and looked around.
"Wow Flare, nice place you got here!" Water said.
"You'll love it! My house is your house, Water." I said.
"What? Not me?" Fonz asked.
"I don't know you that well yet. You gotta earn Flare's trust first, my friend. That's how things work." I said.
"Whatever. Who says I need your trust?" he asked.
"Fonzie, calm down, please?" Water asked.
“Only for you, babe.” Fonz said as he smiled at her.
“See? He’s sweet.” Water said.
“No doubt.” I said as I glared at him.
So I showed them around my trailer. I showed them my Lounge with my video games, computers, snack machines, and such. My kitchen, my bathroom, my living room, and we finally went into the exercise room.
"I better have permission to use these weights!" Fonz demanded.
"Go ahead. Nopony's stopping you. I don't even use them anyway. They came with the trailer and I thought of keeping them because it would make everypony think I actually work out." I said.
"Why would you make everypony think that?" Water asked.
"Isn't it how I got AppleJack and Rainbow Dash's respect?" I asked.
"I doubt it." she said. "Hey Flare, do you still have the fish?"
"Sure do!" I said. "C'mon, follow me!" I took Water's hoof and we both went into my bedroom. My room is where I sleep in, of course, why would I say that? But there's also a closet full of my blue vests and shoes, there's also my personal chest full of my personal stuff that's password protected. Nopony except me can get inside. There's also my fish tank in my room. I have six pet fish. They really mean alot to me, more than anything in this world. Trust me, have you ever had something that you smile every time you look at? When I'm angry, my fish calm me down, as well as Mama Fluttershy. I got a black molly named Darrel, he's the happiest in the tank, and loves to have fun, and he swims to anypony that comes near the tank. I have a white molly named Pearl, who's like Rarity, likes to keep everything perfect. I also have a rainbow fish named Rainbow who's the leader of the tank. He's very smart, and makes sure everything in the tank is ship-shape, or at least tank-shape, which is rectangular. I also have another rainbow fish named Dorthey, who is slightly smaller than Rainbow, and she's trying to follow Rainbow's footsteps (or fin steps). Next is my yoyo loach named Yoyo. Yeah I know what you're thinking, couldn't figure out a more original name? Well Yoyo is one that loves to eat, he can't stop. And finally, there's my albino catfish named Piddles. He sleeps alot, and thinks his reflection is another fish. Now, let me tell you all something, in this story, my fish talk, but nopony can understand them. My fish can only talk to eachother, or other animals, but they can only understand what we say.
"Hey fishies!" Water said to them.
"Hey look, it's Water." Dorthey said.
"WATER!? WATER'S HERE!" Darrel cried. "RAINBOW! RAINBOW! WATER'S HERE! WATER'S HERE!" Darrel was pushing Rainbow with his nose while he was crying with glee.
"Okay, Darrel! Okay! I heard you the first time." Rainbow complained.
"Who's Water again?" Pearl asked.
"Flare's sister. Hopefully she bought us treats!" Yoyo said excitedly
"Oh Yoyo, you and your will to eat." Piddles said to him, but then he saw his reflection. "No, I'm not gonna chase you again. You're not worth my time." he said to his reflection. "Go ahead, mock everything I do, it ain't happin."
"There's my little babies!" Water said to the fish. "There's Darrel, Pearlie, Rainbow, Dorthey, Yoyo, and Piddles!"
"Who's she callin a baby?" Dorthey complained. Water hugged the fish tank.
"I missed them so much!" she said.
"Well I needed some friends with me when I moved to Ponyville, so I took the fish." I said.
"But why though? They're all our fish." she said.
"So? I clean out the fish tank more then mom and dad, I spend alot of time with them. I mean, you had Fonz with you. Me, I'm still single." I said.
"Oh really? I'm so sorry, bro." she said.
"Forever alone." Rainbow said with the 'Forever Alone' meme mask on his face.
"Why don’t you find yourself a mare?” Water asked.
“I’m not yet ready for a relationship. I wanna get my own life on track first.” I said.
“Sure that’s what they all say.” Dorthey teased.
“Oh Dorthey, don’t be like that.” Pearl said. “He’ll find somepony, I guarantee it.”
“Betchya 5 bits he won’t.” Dorthey said.
"Well I'm proud of you Flare. You moved into a new town and you finally got all the friends you need. Congratulations, brother!" Water said to me giving me a hug.
"I have some other friends that you might wanna meet." I said. "There's Engie, Crystal, Blaze, Psyche, Aqua, and many others! You gotta go meet them!"
"Alright! Sounds like a plan!" she said. “Hey, you still have that accordion?”
“I dunno, do sponges wear squarepants?” I asked.
“Yes! Definitely yes!” Water said.
“No, because SpongeBob’s pants are rectangle, not square. Everypony’s got the wrong idea.” I said. “But yes, I do have my accordion still. If you want, I can play you and Fonz a little polka.”
“Sounds wonderful!” Water said.
"Water, I’m really tired right now. Can you please unpack our stuff? This was a VERY long trip.” Fonz asked.
"Of course! Hey right after, can I meet Flare’s friends?” Water asked.
“Meh, why not?” Fonz asked.
“And maybe afterwords, Flare can play us a little something on his accordion.” Water suggested.
“If I’m bored, sure.” Fonz said in an uncaring tone.
“YIPPIE!” Water jumped up in excitement. “See, Flare? Told you Fonz was sweet!”
“Yes, I heard you say that like… three times already.” I said sarcastically. “Wow, I’m starting to get the hang of this sarcasm thing.”
“Coming Fonz!" Water said excitedly as she ran into the guest bedroom to unpack their stuff. I was a little worried. Fonz doesn't seem like a cool stallion for Water to have a relationship with. I mean, he’s obviously using her. Plus he’s rude to me. But… then again… I could be misjudging him. Like Water said, he could be shy. I never seen a pony shy just for being rude. Maybe the ponies in Mareami were just shy…… nah! Anyways, after a little while, Water was finished unpacking. The two of us went out to Porker’s BBQ, a BBQ restaurant across the street from my pizza shop. There is where we met the rest of the Noble Six.
“So nice to meet you water! Flare told us a lot about you!” Blaze said as the seven of us were sitting on a corner table near the front door.
“Well… kinda.” Engie said. “He mainly kept saying ‘my sister’, ‘my sister’, ‘my sister’. He doesn’t mention ya by name a lot.”
“I’m pretty much his only sister.” Water said. “Unless our mom is preggers and we don’t know it yet.”
“So ya like it here in Ponyville so far, Water?” Aqua asked.
“Oh I do! I do!” Water said.
“What is this; a wedding?” Crystal asked.
“You know, Crystal, we kinda sound similar.” Water said.
“Yeah I’ve been wondering about that too.” Crystal said. “I guess a lot of voices are like that. Pretty lazy, if you ask me.”
“Ah know. Every time ah’m on an online game, everyone either sounds like a normal guy, a kid, or a wannabe ‘gangster’.” Engie said.
“Hey Water, how about coltfriend? Fonz Punkskull… what’s he like?” Psyche asked.
“Well, I know you’re thinking that a pony with that name is a pony you cannot trust.” Water said.
“You read my mind.” Psyche nodded.
“But after the two of us met, we really hit it off. He was really interested in me, and he wanted to know a lot more about you, Flare!” Water said.
“He did?” I asked.
“Yeah! He seems to be really interested in you! He really seems to want to be friends with you!” Water said.
“Hmm…” I thought to myself.
"Ah wonder where our food is?" Engie complained.
"It'll be here Engie, just wait." Aqua said.
"Yeah, yeah, that's what ya said 30 minutes ago." Engie reminded him.
"Well, still, be patient, Engie." Aqua said.
"What's the matter, Aqua? Still jealous that I beat you at chess?" Crystal teased.
"Crystal, it was just a game. Why would I be jealous of something stupid like that?" Aqua asked.
"Because you know I'm smarter than you." Crystal said.
"Beating a pony at chess doesn't make a pony smarter, you know." Psyche said reminded her.
"Oh yeah? Ever beaten a pony in chess before, Psyche?" Crystal asked.
"I don't normally play chess." Psyche said.
"Cause you know you'll lose, right?" Crystal teased.
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Psyche said.
Just then, Water’s phone begins to ring. “Is that Alicia Keys as yer ringtone? Ah love her!” Engie said.
“I do too!” Water said as she answered her phone. “Sup? Oh hey Fonz! Yeah I’m with Flare still. Yeah he’s got a couple of friends here. One of them looks like a mare though.”
“I am a mare.” Crystal corrected her.
“I wasn’t talking about you.” Water whispered to her. “Yeah, ok. You really want me back that bad, huh? Ok, Fonzie, if you say so. I’ll be there in about 5 minutes. Ok. Love you too. Mwah! Bye!” she hangs up.
“Who kisses from the phone?” Crystal asked in a disgusted tone.
“Sorry, guys, but I have to go back to see Fonz. He’s really getting lonely and he needs me.” Water said. “I swear, that pony won’t be able to live if I wasn’t around for him.”
“Well great meeting you, Water!” Blaze said.
“Yeah, it was really fun! I hope you get to stay here in Ponyville!” Psyche said.
“Thank you, pony that looks like a mare.” Water said as she walks out.
“Was she talking about me or you, Psyche?” Blaze asked.
“I have no clue. We were both called cares in the past.” Psyche said.
“Hey, if Fonz breaks up with her… dibs!” Engie said as he elbows Aqua.
"Flare, are you alright?" Blaze asked. "You seem a little... quiet."
"Oh it's just my sister's coltfriend, Blaze." I said.
"Yer sister's coltfriend is named Blaze?" Engie teased and chuckled. "Hey, he's got the same name as you, Blaze!" Blaze just facehooved himself.
"Water keeps sayin’ he’s a nice and sweet pony.” Aqua said.
“I don’t see it. I find Fonz to be pretty suspicious.” I said.
“Oh you’re just overprotective over your sister, it happens. It happened to Twilight.” Psyche said.
“I never met Fonz though. What does he look like?” Crystal asked.
“He looks just like his name. He’s a punk, and he dresses like the Fonz.” I said.
“Does he lean on a jukebox, buck it, and then turn on a catchy tune from the 50s?” Crystal asked.
“I never seen him do that, but he says he likes the music.” I said. “But still, it seems he abuses Water.”
“Did he hit her?” Blaze asked.
“Not that I seen, thank Wizard of Strength for that.” I said as I played with the straw on my drink. “But he’s asking her to do stuff for him. It’s like he’s in charge of the relationship.”
"That doesn't sound like a good coltfriend to me, Flare." Aqua said.
"Oh, and you know what's it like to have a coltfriend, Aqua? Do you have one?" Crystal joked and laughed.
"No, but I suppose ya'd know." Aqua said.
"My Thunder-Wunder is perfect the way he is." Crystal said.
"I'm serious, brahs. Fonz looks like bad business." I said.
"Ya wanna try getting Water to break up with him?" Aqua asked.
"I don't think that would be such a good idea, Aqua. It wouldn't end well." Psyche said.
"Flare, my bro. What you need, is to keep a close eye on Fonz, but without him noticing you." Blaze said.
"You mean like... spying?" I asked.
"SPAI?!" Engineer yelled.
"Don't worry, Engie. There's no spy here." Psyche said.
"How would y'all know, Psyche? Are YOU a spy?" Engie asked.
"Now you're just talking nonsense, dude." Psyche said.
"Yeah, Flare. Spying." Blaze said.
"But spying is wrong, brah." I said.
"I know. But your sister might be getting pushed around too much, and it's time to do what brothers to do their sisters. Protect them." Blaze said.
"I thought they always argue and fight?" I asked.
"She's a member of your family, and you need to do what's right, Flare!" Blaze said.
"But, Blaze? I dunno, man." I said.
"Don't force him, Blaze." Psyche said.
"But Psyche, don't you see? His sister might be getting abused by him. I mean, just think about it." Blaze said.
I knew what Blaze was saying, but I wasn't too sure if I could do it. You think it's right to be spying on your sister's special somepony? It's a pretty big decision to make. I really had to think this over, but over a meal. I was starving! So our meals arrived and we ate them. Blaze kept telling me to think about it, so I did. When I got home Water and Fonz were in the guest bedroom. Fonz had the TV on, but Water was trying to sleep. I listened to their chatter from the other side of the door.
"Fonzie, can ya please turn off the TV?" Water asked.
"Hang on, babe, I wanna see who the nominees are.” Fonz said.
“Can you watch it in the lounge?” Water asked.
“I would but… fffft… my ankle is kinda hurting me.” Fonz said.
"You want me to shut off the TV? You have the remote." Water said.
"Are you being smart with me?” Fonz asked angrily.
"No, I'm just saying... when I have the TV on you order me to turn it off, but now you're not doing me this little favor. You can watch in the Lounge." Water suggested.
"I'm in charge here! Stop being a whinny little foal, and behave for once!" Fonz ordered.
"I always behave though." Water said.
"I know you do, that’s why you’re my cutie-pie.” Fonz said as he squeezed her nose.
"I’m sleeping in the other room then.” Water said.
“Ok, fine by me.” Fonz said in an uncaring tone.
I didn't want them to know I was there so I snuck into my bedroom. Water angrily marched out of the room with a blanket, and a pillow, and went into the Lounge.
"Well, so much for playing video games tonight." I said. Water didn't seem to be too happy with Fonz, so I went to go talk to her. I knocked on the door first.
Knock, knock, knock; “Water?” Knock, knock, knock; “Water?” Knock, knock, knock; “Water?”
“Who’s there?” Water asked.
"Flare." I answered.
"Flare who?" she asked.
"Flare Gun." I said.
Water was silenced for a second. "That wasn't really much of a knock-knock joke, bro." she said.
"Can I come in?" I asked.
"I dunno, CAN you?" she asked.
"Kay, now you're using my own jokes on me. I heard it all before, sis." I said.
"Come in, bro." she said. So I opened the door and went inside. She was putting on her eye-liner.
"Why are you putting on make-up? Aren't you going to sleep?" I asked.
"They don't call it beauty sleep for nothing, bro." she said.
"Yeah, lawl, very funny.” I said sarcastically.
"What do you need, Flarey?" Water asked.
"I just... how do you feel about going out with Fonz? You don't seem to be very happy with him." I said.
"Oh, so you heard the fight? Don't worry, bro. We go through that all the time. He always apologizes in the morning." she said.
"Yeah, about that. I don't think it's such a good idea for you to go out with him anymore." I said.
"Why would you say that, Flarey? Aren't you proud of me having a coltfriend?" she asked.
"I am, very much! It's just... it looks like he's abusing you though." I said.
"Don't worry, Flarey. He's not abusing me. He just has a temper. Don't worry, he loves me very much!" she said.
"But Water? He bosses you around and everything, and I don't like him." I said.
"You don't have to like him, Flarey, but I'm still going out with him, and there's nothing you can do. I'm sorry, brother." she said.
"But sis?" I said.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Now if you please, I need to get some beauty sleep." she said.
"But..." I said.
"Good night, Flare." she said as she gives me a kiss on the cheek, and lays down. I just looked at her, then after a few seconds I turn off the light and leave the room and closed the door behind her. Then I started talking to myself. Yeah, I sometimes do that from time to time, but all ponies have their silly moments sometimes, even Twilight, and she's one of the smartest in Ponyville. I even seen Mayor Mare spaz out one time, but that's not the point. I went into my room and saw my fish and talked to them. Yes, I did talk to myself at first, but then I talked to the fish when I got to my room.
"I don't understand. I really don't understand. I mean, Water seems very happy with him, and yet, I feel that on the inside, she's sad. It's as if she's imprisoned by this Fonz Punkskull. I mean, fishies, have you ever feel like you're being abused?"
"Yes, all the time." Piddles said.
"By who?" Yoyo asked.
"That fish that looks like me and mimics everything I do. It sickens me, Yoyo." Piddles said.
"How would you know if that's not your reflection, Piddles?" Pearl asked.
"I doubt it." Piddles said.
"Psyche did have a point in saying with that name he has, he can't be trusted." I said. "But names aren't everything you know. But Blaze might be right. Maybe I should keep a close eye on Fonz. But... I have the shop to look after. The Mane Six nor Spike aren’t in town right now, and since tomorrow's Saturday, it would be Nashorse Nationwide Race, and the Wonderbolts preform at the Nashorse races all the time, so Blaze won't be available. But I also think they might suspect my friends. Hmm..."
So to calm my nerves before I go to sleep, I decided to take out my accordion and play a little polka to help relieve my stress. I began to sing happily, “Oooooooooh, there once was a pony named Fonz Punkskull, he doesn’t have any pity at all; he’s a maniac, a jerk, and he really looks punky – he looks like someone that’ll spend a lot of money……. On blackjack and models. He goes out with my sister and she finds him so sweet, he even pays for dinner when they go out to eeeeeeeeeat…… but if he lose his temper than you will have to pay, so be careful when you miss when Fonz Punkskull today- HEY!” I then played one of the parts of Weird Al’s WAY Moby Polka on my accordion, my favorite WAY Moby Polka part, which is the part Weird Al uses a lot in his polkas, which is the instrumental part between ‘Ghetto Supastar’ and ‘Rock Your Body’ on Polka Power, or the instrumental between ‘Sledgehammer’ and ‘Sussudio’ in Polka Party, yeah that part. Dun dun dun, dun dundun dun, dun dun dun, dun dundun dun!
As I was playing on my accordion Fonz was yelling from the bedroom. “WILL YOU SHUT THAT GARBAGE OFF!? I’m trying to watch TV in here! Although you are right about the blackjack and models part!”
“Why would he ask me to stop polkaing? Now I REALLY find him suspicious.” I said.
So I thought it over, and I knew what I had to do. The next day came, and what Blaze suggested caught my mind, I had to have somepony keep an eye on Fonz and Water. My friends were all unavailable. The Mane Six and Spike were out of town to witness the return of the Crystal Empire, and my friends in my Noble Six clan were also unavailable at this time, so I had no other choice. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were the only ones who could help me. So I called them over to my shop, and told them what they needed to do.
"So, let me get this straight. You want us to spy on a suspicious looking pony that's the special somepony of your sister?" Scootaloo asked.
"Affermative." I said.
"Don't ya think that's a bit... sneaky?" Apple Bloom asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"It doesn't really feel right spying on a pony we don't know." Apple Bloom answered.
"But you might earn your plot tattoos then! Think of it like that." I said.
"Getting a cutie mark for spying?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Exactly!" I answered.
The CMCs all looked at eachother in a weird way, then they all smiled at me. "Alright! We'll do it!" Sweetie Belle said.
"Praise the Wizards!" I cried out. I gave them a picture of Fonz and Water, so they would know what they look like.
"Wow, yer sister looks pretty, Flare!" Apple Bloom said.
"This Fonz guy looks pretty creppy." Scootaloo said. "I like it."
"And here are some walkie talkies, so you can communicate with me." I said, giving them walkie talkies.
"Oh, so it's like we're gonna be secret agents right?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Being a secret agent would be so awesome! Can we have some secret agent suits?" Scootaloo asked. They all smiled at me and gave out a squee.
"Look, I'd love to give you special suits, but I don't have any." I said.
"Buy them then." Sweetie Belle suggested.
"I don't have time, I'm wasting time as it is talking to you." I said.
“Nice way of puttin’ things.” Apple Bloom said sarcastically.
"Can we at least have cool secret agent music?" Scootaloo asked.
"Here, I have the Secret Agent Pony song on my Ipod. Just use this." I said, giving my Ipod to them.
"Ah, cool!" Scootaloo said excitedly.
"Don't lose it, alright? And don't break it either." I instructed them.
"We promise." the CMCs said at the same time.
"Let's hope we don't accidently drop the Ipod into the sewer by accident though." Apple Bloom said.
"Don't jinx it, Bloomie." I said. "Move out agents!"
"Aye, aye, Captain Flare!" The CMCs said at the same time. "Cutie Mark Crusaders, away!" They all ran out of the shop.
"What are they? Secret agents, pirates, or super heroes?" I asked myself. "Because with the secret agent idea, and them saying 'Aye aye, Captain Flare', and let's not forget the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders away' part. Maybe they're super pirate agents. No, pirate agent heroes! Yeah, that sounds leet!" I talk nonsense, don't I? Anyways, I continued working while the CMCs were spying on my sister and Fonz. Scootaloo climbs a pipe on a house and goes to the roof, and she spots Water and Fonz walking around town.
"Targets sighted." Scootaloo said on the walkie talkie.
"Copy that." Sweetie Belle said on her's while she was hiding behind the bushes. "Apple Bloom, where are you?"
Apple Bloom was behind the bushes with her. "I'm behind the bushes on Trotting Drive." she said on her walkie talkie.
"Hey, this is my hiding spot!" Sweetie Belle said to her on the walkie talkie, even though she was right next to her.
"No, I was here first." Apple Bloom said on the walkie talkie.
"No you weren't. I was!" Sweetie Belle said on her walkie talkie.
"If you two are right next to eachother, why are you talking on the walkie talkies then?" Scootaloo asked.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie just looked at eachother and chuckled. "Wait, shhh." Sweetie Belle shushed while Water and Fonz were walking past them.
"Target’s seen green, no abuse yet." Apple Bloom said.
"Or more like targets seem blue and orange." Sweetie Belle said. Apple Bloom just looked at her. "It's true. Look at them!"
Water looked at a stand full of bananas, and she smiled and tried to take one, but then Fonz slapped her hoof away. "AH! The target just took the first shot! I repeat, target just took the first shot!" Sweetie Belle said on the walkie talkie.
"Roger that. On my way to get a closer look." Scootaloo said.
"Who's roger?" Apple Bloom asked. Scootaloo glided off the roof and rolled behind a trash can near the stall.
"Hey! I think I just flew!" Scootaloo said excitedly on the walkie talkie, excitedly.
"That wasn't flying. That was gliding. That's different. You're still a dodo, Scootaloo." Sweetie Belle corrected her and laughed. Scootaloo groaned. Water and Fonz continued walking. Fonz went to get a lime from a stall, and Water slapped the lime out of his hoof, just to be funny. But then Fonz paid for the lime, and just pushed the lime into her mouth, which hurt her a bit. Lime spit lime out of her mouth and coughed.
"Yeah, that's what you get for being a smart-plot!" Fonz said rudely to her.
"I was joking, for Luna's sake!" Water yelled.
"I know, and what I did was a joke too.” Fonz said.
“Oh you!” Water chuckled.
"Wow. This pony is such a jerk!" Scootaloo said. “If you thought Flare was bad in the past, compare that to this dude.”
"Why is Water going out with him anyway?" Sweetie asked.
"We need more info." Apple Bloom said.
"Right, let's go." Scootaloo said. Water and Fonz were walking, and the CMCs kept on spying.
"I'm tired, we should sit down." Fonz said.
"You go ahead, I wanna see my brother." Water said.
“But I don’t wanna be alone. Please, Water?” Fonz begged.
"Fine, fine, jeez! Can’t say no to this face." Water said as she pinched his cheek and sat next to him.
"Pretty bossy, the target is. Wouldn't ya'll agree, Sweetie Belle?" Apple Bloom asked.
"He sure is. He's kinda like Gilda a bit." Sweetie Belle said. “Although, Gilda wasn’t that bad when somepony found her weakness.”
A cutaway shows Fluttershy assisting with a bird in building her nest. “There you go, Hummingway! Now you’ll be able to lay your eggs in complete comfort!”
“HEY, DORK! How about my nest? I’m freezing over here!” Gilda demanded.
“You’re going to have to wait your turn, Gilda. Hairy the bear needs some honey he can’t do it himself.” Fluttershy said as she pointed to Hairy, whom was covered in mud and on a blue balloon, trying to get honey from bee hive. Hairy was singing ‘I’m Just A Little Black Rain Cloud’ while he was attempting.
“I wasn’t asking you, I’m telling you, BUILD MY NEST!” Gilda demanded. “If you don’t build my nest right now, I’m going to-“ just then, Fluttershy takes out a laser pointer and aims it towards the ground. Gilda stops yelling right after she activates it, and then she starts to chase it. “Wha, it… it-it’s that thing again. Fluttershy, it’s that thing again! Where does it keep going? Why is it teasing me?” Fluttershy chuckles as she randomly waves the laser pointer all over the place. “Get back here! I wanna catch you and… I dunno, eat you? Play with you? I haven’t decided yet, but… STAY STILL!” The cutaway ends.
"Wouldn't be surprised if Gilda and Fonz were a couple." Scootaloo said.
"Be neither." Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle said at the same time.
"Oh, jinx!" Sweetie Belle said and they both giggled.
"Apple Bloom, Sweetie! Stay focused." Scootaloo instructed them.
"Right." Apple Bloom said.
"So Fonz, how you liking Ponyville so far?" Water asked.
"It's alright, I guess." Fonz said.
"I'm hungry for lunch, how about Flare's?" Water asked.
"How about no?" Fonz answered.
"C'mon, please! I wanna try some of Flare's delicious pizza. The princesses say it's the best pizza in Equestria. It wouldn't hurt." Water said.
Fonz sighed. "Alright, fine. Don’t knock it till ya tried it, right?”
"Of course, let’s get going!” Water said excitedly as they held each other hoof to hoof and began walking over to my shop.
"Flare? It seems the 'lovely couple' is heading towards your position." Scootaloo said on the walkie talkie.
"Where? The bathroom? Over?" I asked through the walkie talkie.
"No. I mean your shop." Scootaloo answered.
"There's a bathroom in my shop though. Over." I said.
"I mean, they're on their way to eat." Scootaloo said. I didn't say anything though. "Flare?"
"Scoots, please say 'over' when you end a conversation." I instructed her.
Scootaloo groaned. "They're on their way to your shop to eat... over." Scootaloo said.
"Roger that, Scoots, over!" I said.
So Water and Fonz were walking, but they completely past my shop. "Fonzie? Where we going? We just missed Flare's shop." Water said.
"Here, I wanna show you how sorry I am for putting you down, so I'll take you over to Taco Shack, my treat, babe." Fonz said.
"But... I wanna see Flare." Water said.
"C'mon Water, please?" Fonz asked nicely.
"Huh? When did he start being so kind?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Alright, hun. For you!" Water said giving him a nuzzle.
"Anything for you, babe!" Fonz said, while they both started walking towards Taco Shack.
"Taco Shack?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Yeah, they serve tacos." Sweetie Belle said.
"I know that." Apple Bloom said with a sarcastic tone. "I'm talking about, why are they heading there instead of Flare's?"
"Flare, change of plans." Scootaloo said on the walkie talkie. "It seems the perfect coltfriend decided to be so kind to her, and treat her to Taco Shack." I didn't say anything. "Flare?"
"I'm sorry, Scoots. I can't understand what you're saying, there's a pacific word you need to say." I said through the walkie talkie. If you’re new to this story, I can’t say pacific correctly. It’s… umm… ok, it’s S-P-E-C-I-F-I-C. I really cannot say that word. Got it? Alright good.
Scootaloo sighed. "Fonz is taking Water is Taco Shack instead, and he's being kind to her all the sudden, over." she said with an annoyed look.
Fonz used his unicorn magic to take a remote control out of his pocket a little bit, and pressed a button on it without Water noticing.
"Wait, Flare. I think I saw Fonz just push a button on some sort of remote control." Scootaloo said to me, but of course I didn't say anything, because she didn't say over, but I didn't need to remind her, because eventually she said, "Over."
"Really? That doesn't sound good. over." I said.
"No kidding, over." Scootaloo said. "So what are you orders?" I didn't say anything, because she didn't say over again. "Oh c'mon, I said over!"
"But you didn't say over at the end of the sentence, over." I said.
Scootaloo sighed. "C'mon, we should catch up to them, see what's going on." Sweetie Belle said. And so the CMCs continued to follow Water and Fonz.
Meanwhile, back at the shop, I just made a pizza for my friend Keith.
"Here ya go, Keith! You have a great day now." I said.
"You too." he said.
“Hey don’t forget to poke me, brah. We’re nearly at a thousand pokes.” I said.
“Ok.” He said as he took the pizza box and walked towards the door and opened it, but then suddenly, four robots bursted inside the shop.
"Oh, thank you." one of the robots said to Keith whom was holding the door for them.
“Ok.” Keith said in an uncaring tone.
"Flare Gun? You're coming with us." one of the robots said to me.
Oh wait, is it that time already? Sorry, readers. I've reached my limit for now. I have to at least try to make this chapter even with Part 2, so I guess we'll continue there.
TO BE CONTINUED...
The adventures of Flare Gun, Red Engineer, Crystal Iceblast, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, and Aquatic Armor continues. Last left off on Book 1 of Friendship is Epic. New adventures, new friends, new enemies, new locations, new epicness, new LULZ!
In this season of FiE, Flare's past follows him to Ponyville, the good and the bad, but it's not just Flare's past, some of the Noble Six as well. Flare's sister Water Gun moves in to Ponyville along with her special somepony, Rainbow Dash's long lost sister also moves to Ponyville, and even ponies from Flare's past such as a pig, a stalker, an old bully, the old bully's father, Flare's ex-marefriend come back, but it's up to you to find out which ones come back to haunt Flare or they come back to help Flare, same story goes with the other members of the Noble Six.
This season of FiE contains new characters, new antagonists, new shippings, new songs, new twists, and more backstory on some of the members of the Noble Six. This is where the real story begins! Book 1 was just getting to know the characters. We go more into story now! I hope you enjoy this story! Be sure to let me know how you feel about it (without being too rude). Thanks, brahs!
Flare's sister Water Gun visits Ponyville with her coltfriend Fonz Punkskull, but Flare and his friends feel a bit suspicious over Fonz and the way he treats Water.
Featured characters: Crimson Flare Gun, Water Gun, Fonz Punkskull
Also appearing: Red Engineer, Crystal Iceblast, Aquatic Armor, Psyche Illusion, Blaze Goldheart, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, AppleJack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Spike, Adventure Blade "Keith", Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Bon Bon, Lyra Heartstrings, Darrel, Pearl, Rainbow, Dorthey, Yoyo, Piddles, Woodenshy, Big McIntosh, Mr. Cake, Mrs. Cake, Zecora, Angel, Derpy Hooves, Pound Cake (voice), Pumpkin Cake (voice), River Song, Shoeshine, Dizzy Twister, Cherry Berry, Parasol, Hummingway, Hairy the Bear, Gilda, Sea Swirl
If you’re reading this, then you must’ve made it passed Book 1! Mozel tov! I’m glad you’re here so we can continue the story where we left off! Anyways, if you’re new here, my name is Crimson Flare Gun, and I’ll be narrating the story. If you haven’t read Book 1 yet, it is recommended that you read at least chapters 1, 2, 4, 9, 10, 11, 13, 29, and 30 of that story because they’re important. Anyways, I’m from the city of Mareami and I run Flare’s Pizza Parlor, the best pizza joint in Equestria. I’m here in Ponyville to gain peace of mind. I like that song, don’t you? If you don’t like Boston, you must not have a good taste of music, way better than the music from today. Bleh! Katy Perry is ok though… and… wait I’m getting off track.
Like the new season so far? I pretty much already finished all of Book 2 already, but I'm updating all the chapters and remaking just a few. Most of these chapters I'm satisfied with, but some I'm remaking and some I'm just adding in or removing.
So this chapter here and the next one, we're meeting a new character that's going to appear often in the story. Water is like the Spike of the Noble Six, same with Cremepop, whom we're going to be meeting in a future chapter.
This chapter was one of the chapters that was just updated. Fonz is less abusive and the two parts to this premiere is more even. Also the old name to these chapters is "Fonz Be Praised".