Bunderbliss by David-ism
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"BUNDERBLISS"

a Davidism fanfiction

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(1)

For just a few moments, Rainbow Dash felt the world's weight wash away. Eyes half closed and yawning, she wiggled under the white and blue blanket on her bed, and bunched the pillow under the side of her face until it was just right.

One blitzed-out rain machine, three dozen panic stricken ponies, and six hours of disaster control later; all she could think about was her bed, and sleeping it off like a bad hangover.  The only thing that made sleeping late in the morning a complete drag, was the fact that her house was more or less pitched over Ponyville, and any and all sounds were apt to drift her way.

Nevertheless, within seconds of touching down on her bed, Rainbow Dash was fast asleep, and tossing with unconscious turmoil.

The dream was always the same. The same flight over Northpeer Meadow; the same voices talking, and the same pool of shimmering luminescence.

Each time she dreamed the dream, she would fly toward the strange pool of light, touch down a few meters away, then approach it as though it were routine. Just before her hoof would make contact, she would wake.

Sitting upright in her bed, she rubbed at the side of her face, and blinked a few times. It was already late afternoon. She'd slept much longer than she had intended.

How many times was this now?

Four?

Always the same damn dream, but only when she least expected it.

A final yawn, and another rub at the side of her face with her hoof, and it was time to start the day. A very late day at that.

After a quick dip in the bathtub, and some hasty primping and preening in front of her bathroom mirror, Rainbow Dash surged from her front door with a fresh zeal, and launched herself into the late day sky.

For a fleeting moment, she allowed herself a look back toward the skies of Cloudsdale. As far as she knew, there were no pressing matters to tend to, and no impending disasters waiting. She should relax, but the worry was ever-present.

The knuckleheads had it under control.

Looking down, she noticed there were an unusual amount of ponies gathered at the post office. In fact, there were a lot of ponies gathered at the post office.

The last time she could recall an assembling so large was either during one of the mayor's speeches, or some sort of celebration. Then again...

Tilting her angle of flight, she made for the gathered crowd, and landed near the back. The instant wash of chatter and conversation gave her a mild sense of revulsion, as though she were reliving the last few hours of her shift at the factory.

Seconds after landing, she noticed that there were two immediate problems with her chosen spot.

For starters; she still couldn't make out what in the name of the gods was going on that had everyone so worked up, and secondly, there was a huge pony with a large straw hat blocking her view directly ahead.

Frowning, Rainbow hovered up higher than the crowd, in an attempt to scout out a better vantage point. Had the wind, or the noise of the crowd been just one decibel stronger, she might have never noticed the small subtle voice beside her.

"Rainbow Dash, are you here to see the new gadget, too?"

When she turned to face the voice that had spoken to her, she noticed Fluttershy hovering next to her. Her face was stained as though she had been either shouting or attempting to get her attention for the longest time.

"Hey, Fluttershy. What's with all the commotion? And what's this about a new gadget?"

"Well," Fluttershy began, only to have her voice drowned in a fresh surge of crowd chatter.

Rainbow Dash could only watch as her mouth worked, and her jaw moved up and down, with no sound.

"Sorry, what was that?"

Rolling her eyes in mild frustration, Fluttershy began again. "I said..."

It was no use. Getting Fluttershy to shout over a crowd of ponies was like asking a tornado to tip-toe through a flower patch. It was never going to happen.

"Oh, for gods sake," Dash said exasperated. "This is hopeless."

With a final humph of irritation, Fluttershy reared back, and pointed near the front of the crowd, all the while cutting her eyes at Dash.

Letting out a loud sigh-lost to the noise-Rainbow Dash flew up high over the crowd to push her way toward the front. It didn't come as any shock that Twilight Sparkle was the one heading up all the commotion.

Should have known it was her, the second someone mentioned the word, "gadget!"

Standing next to Twilight was the postal pony, Ditsy Doo. She was teetering back and forth on her hooves, and looked as though she was about to faint. Rainbow Dash landed next to them, and caught just the tail end of the panicked pony's discussion.

"The building code clearly states, Ms. Sparkle, that the maximum occupancy for any one occasion is not to exceed more than fifty ponies."

Ignoring the worrying mail-mare, Twilight turned her excited look at Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow! Did you come to see the new gadget we got for Ponyville?"

"Ms. Sparkle?" Ditsy continued, hoping to recapture her attention.

"Uh, well... to be honest, I just found out about it," Dash said, rubbing at the back of her mane.

"I think you're going to love this," Twilight said, as she squeezed herself past some onlookers from the post office. "I'm so excited, you have no idea."

"I'm beginning to suspect," Dash said, just as an arm and hoof reached out and took hold of her nape, dragging her inside.

Deftly moving through the interior of the post office, Twilight pulled and drug Rainbow Dash until the two of them reached a small wooden box hanging on the wall. At which point, Twilight stopped and stood proudly, clearly waiting on her friend's reaction.

"Well?" she goaded, impatient with the wait. "What do you think?"

"Uh... well, it's um nice. I guess."

Looking up at the wooden box, Twilight shook her head and swiveled her attention back to Rainbow, puzzled and confused.

"The greatest invention since quill and parchment is just... nice?"

"Twilight, I hate to break it to you, but that's just a box with some string attached. Hardly the invention of a lifetime."

"Ms. Sparkle," said the walleyed mare, approaching Twilight from her side. "About those building codes."

"In a minute Ditsy," she said, holding up her hoof at Ditsy Doo's muzzle, all but cramming the front of her leg in her mouth. "It isn't a box, it's a televox."

"A what now?"

Calming her breathing, Twilight took a deep breath, and began excitedly. "It's a televox. A device that uses science to send a pony's voice over short or long distances."

Reaching for the bell shaped object attached to the cord, Twilight brought it up to her ear. "All you do is speak into this small horn here on the box, the sound from the pony on the other end of the line comes out through here."

Rainbow Dash looked on with one eyebrow slightly raised. "So, there's another one of these, whatchathingers?"

"Oh yes, there are at least five of them. One in Canterlot, one in Cloudsdale, one in Appleloosa, one in Manehattan, and one here in Ponyville."

"Seriously, there's five of them?"

Giggling for a second, Twilight regarded her friend as though she were missing an obvious point. "Don't act so surprised, Rainbow Dash. It's just science."

"Yeah, well I'd be more impressed if I could see this thing in action."

"All in good time. The televox cables aren't quite ready yet; this is more of an unveiling ceremony than an actual demonstration."

"Well then, it just went from almost awesome to not." Waiving her hoof in the air, she said, "Come get me when it's time for something to happen."

The expression on Twilight's face suddenly changed, and her eyes darted to the nearby clock. "Time? Oh my gosh! I got so caught up here with the televox that I completely forgot."

"Forgot what?"

"The rocks for the town square!"

Before Rainbow Dash could question her further, Twilight turned and ran for the exit; leaving one confused pony, and one frustrated pony in her wake.

"Aww fiddlesticks!" Ditsy shouted as she watched Twilight bolt away into the crowd. "This place is never going to hold all those ponies."

Turning to Ditsy, Rainbow Dash said, "Any idea what she means by rocks for the town square?"

Ditsy just shrugged.

 

Twilight Sparkle was standing near the town square watching with growing anticipation as the first of five large covered carts pulled into position to unload their cargo. She was so excited that she nearly forgot she wasn't just a casual observer.

Walking up to her slowly, a grey pony with a hard hat stopped next to her and thrust a clipboard under her nose. "Here, sign this please."

"Maude, is that you?" Twilight asked, blinking back the surprise.

"The one and only," she said, in her ritualistic monotone. "I apologise for not being here sooner, but I needed to take inventory of the stock while on route."

"Yeah, only every time we stopped!" yelled one of the drivers from behind her.

"It was a long trip," Maude said, nodding.

"Bullshit! We left at seven thirty this morning, and could have been here by ten!"

"Their hearts just aren't into this project like mine is," she said with a glint of glimmer in her eye.

Nodding, Twilight reached for the pen, and signed her name. "So, how long is it going to take to get the whole thing assembled?"

Instead of answering, Maude scrutinized Twilight's signature, then looked back up at her closely. "Could I get an I.D. to compare your signature, please?"

"Uh... I left it at the library."

Looking back down at the signature, then once more at Twilight, Maude nodded. "Congratulations, Ms. Sparkle, Ponyville is now the proud owner of sixty-two thousand, five hundred and eleven pieces of obsidian."

"Maude?"

"Yes?"

"How long?"

"If I can get myself properly motivated, a few days."

While Twilight was still speaking with Maude, Rainbow Dash flew into the middle of town, and landed next to them. She exchanged looks with them, then offered Maude a salute.

"Hello, Rainbow," said Twilight.

"Uh, hey." she said, taking in all the trucks and unloaders. "What's with the movers and the shakers?"

"We're unloading rocks for the new town square gazing pool." Maude Pie was still holding her clipboard, and watching as the unloaders pulled the massive canvas tarps from the backs of the carts.

"That sure is a lot of rocks," Dash observed. "Why are there so many?"

"The gazing pool was discovered years ago at an archeological dig near the Saddle Arabian border," Twilight said. "Since then it's sat in a museum in Los Pegasus. Now with the recent renovations, they decided it was time to put the pool up on display, and Ponyville was selected as the site."

Cutting her eyes at Twilight, Rainbow said, "Yeah, I bet you lobbied pretty hard for this thing to come here."

"Actually it was my idea," Maude interjected. "I've been studying the pool off and on for some time, and this way, with it reconstructed, I can get a better understanding of the architecture and maybe the reason its builder chose to construct the piece from obsidian."

"Is that some kind of rare rock?"

"It's an igneous rock, formed when felsic lava is extruded and cooled rapidly with minimum crystal growth."

"And that means?"

"It's volcanic glass." Maude said, blinking a time or two.

"Oh," Dash said, nodding. "That's all you had to say. See, isn't that much easier?"

"Not really," Maude said, shaking her head.

"Anyway," Twilight interrupted, "we're glad that you can be here. I'm sure Pinkie is looking forward to your visit."

"She wants to commemorate my visit by having the two of us build a popcorn house."

"How exactly does one build a popcorn house?" Twilight asked, looking to Rainbow Dash for a possible suggestion.

Maude just stood there, staring, then said, "With popcorn."

Taking in the scene once more, Rainbow Dash watched as some of the obsidian rocks were being taken from the first cart. The smooth surface of the glass struck her as being familiar, somehow. Curiously, she walked toward the worker pony lifting it.

"I'm curious as to how these rocks could possibly hold water," Twilight told Maude. "Won't the stones leak between the cracks?"

For a second, Maude stood there, mulling over her answer. "It's just one of the many mysteries of the pool," she said.

Catching sight of Rainbow Dash, Twilight noticed that she was holding one of the obsidian pieces, and was staring off into space.

"Is everything okay there, Rainbow Dash?"

When she failed to answer, Twilight walked closer to her, and touched her on her shoulder. "Hey, are you listening?"

The touch from Twilight brought Rainbow Dash from her thoughts, and she looked up seeing Twilight, then looked down seeing that she was holding one of the rocks. Immediately recognizing it, she dropped it on the ground, and backed away a few wary steps.

"Hey, be careful with that," she scolded. "It could shatter or shard."

"I uh, need to go. I've got a lot to do," Dash said, backing away further.

The world seemed to be swallowing at her, and the blank expressions on Twilight and Maude were unsettling.

If only there was something that could connect the unease with the familiar.

Shaking her head, Rainbow said again, "Gotta go, Twilight. I'll catch you later."

"Rainbow Dash, are you sure that you're okay?"

"Yeah, never better."

After a minute or two, Twilight let out a sigh and finally nodded. "Okay, well, I'm gonna stay here and watch a little bit longer."

"What about your box back at the post office?"

"I'm sure Ditsy has everything there under control."

With a last wave, Rainbow Dash leapt back toward the sky, and flew in the direction of her house.

Why did that stupid dream have to come back to her now, of all times? Couldn't she just have one normal day, without something getting under her skin?

"Dammit!" she yelled, once she was certain that she was out of earshot. "Stupid rocks!"

It was already nearing dusk when she arrived on her doorstep. Too late to do much else, except maybe try and catch up on some of her reading.

Opening the front door, and traipsing in, she quickly went to the generator, and gave it a few cranks; enough to ensure that she would have enough light for the next half hour or so. Then, once she was satisfied, she flipped on the switch to the interior lighting in the den.

Walking a ways further, she stopped at her bookshelf, and peered at the spines. Naturally, she owned every single Daring Do novel-had read them each a half dozen times in fact. And, she wasn't really in the mood to begin the entire series over again. There had to be something else to read.

Oh, Twilight. If only you could see what has become of me, she thought, still pouring over the many books that lined the shelves.

Unsatisfied with any of the titles, she reluctantly turned and went to her kitchen. It was time for a drink.

Once she had a nice stiff scotch, she returned to the bookshelf, and randomly chose a book to take her mind off of her problems, at least until her next shift at the factory.

making herself comfortable on the couch, she took a generous sip from the scotch glass, and then began turning pages in the book. Looking up once, she gave the interior of her house a once over. It was large, quiet, and empty.

Another drink, and she found herself quickly absorbed in the adventurous tales of Danger Dodge. It was almost humorous how all the popular adventure novels featured a hero or heroine whose name began with "D".

 

Huntsville, Texas

Two days later

Lee Morgan stood at his kitchen window watching as the stone workers set about outside in his back yard. In his right hand he held a ceramic mug half filled with coffee, which read "Writer's Fuel."

It was 8:15 in the morning, the first cup of coffee was gone, and for the moment, all he could do was peek through the mini blinds and watch as the workers hauled the transparent black glass from the catalogued pile to the spot where his new reflecting pond was going to be. He considered going out there, and making like every other rich asshole that bothered the construction crew while they tried to do their job, but settled on just lifting the blinds again, and peeking.

Taking another sip from his coffee, he made a face and went to the kitchen to pour more hot brew over the top that was in his cup.

Once he had topped off his mug, he heard the distinctive sound of his ringtone as it played from his livingroom.

"Hello?"

"Lee, we need to talk."

It was Matthew Coulson. This was not what he needed first thing in the morning.

"Well, if it isn't 'Agent' Coulson. And to what do I owe the pleasure of your call at not-finished-with-my-coffee time?"

"Oh, I think you know full well what this is about."

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you didn't like my review of Chester's book."

"It wasn't a review, Lee, it was a slaughter." There was the sound of a deep breath being exhaled. "I asked you to pen a small critique; that you liked it."

"What you wanted me to do was lie," Lee said, smiling.

"Is this an ego thing, like King? Your books are always better than everyone else's?"

"I never said that, but I'm not going to say that Chester Winter's second novel is something which it clearly isn't."

"You said, and I quote: 'The book is just plain bad copy, that while grammatically correct, is so harsh; were it read aloud, it would cause brain hemorrhaging equal to that of Vogon poetry.'"

"I seriously don't think I wrote that," Lee said, drinking down the last of the coffee in his cup.

"It says, 'From the desk of David Devere' at the top of the letterhead."

"No what I mean is, I thought I compared his style to that of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, of Sussex."

"Can you possibly take life more seriously than this? The kid deserves a shot, okay? His first novel went bestseller, and his second novel already has more pre-orders than the first one has sold. So you stretch the truth a tad, and just sign off on the damn book. Hell it might even throw a few sales your way."

"What are you my pimp?"

"I'm whatever I need to be," Matt said. "So do the critique over, make up some bullshit, and everyone at the publisher's will be happy again."

Walking back to the window to peek through the blinds once more, Lee noticed that the workers were standing around shaking their heads while looking into the half formed circle of placed stones.

"Hey, Matt, I'm gonna need to call you back."

"You'll redo the review?"

"Consider it done, and on your desk this afternoon," he said, then pressed the end button on his phone.

Setting the empty coffee cup down on the kitchen counter, Lee bundled his robe around him tighter and walked to the front door. Once outside, he cautiously approached the gathered group of men, and looked down inside the circle of stones they had been assembling.

"Is there a problem gentlemen," he asked, just as he noticed that the bottom of the gazing pool was holding what looked like a reflective, shimmery, liquid.

"I swear to god, that we didn't add a drop of water to this thing," the foreman said, looking from the shimmery surface of the pool back to Lee. "It just appeared there."

After several minutes of loud talking, a few arms being waved in the air, and some mild to medium level panic, Lee made the decision to go back inside and call the company that he used to purchase the imported pool. Surely they had to be able to tell him something about the damn thing.

Dragging the invoice papers from the folder in his filing cabinet, he sat down behind his desk, and started punching their telephone number into his cellphone.

The company was located in Crete, though their sales rep had an office in New York somewhere.

For the first few rings, everything seemed to be going smooth. He'd get a hold of someone, find out more about this stupid liquid in the bottom of the pool, and get his mind put at ease. Unfortunately, the fifth ring and every ring after that sounded like electronic warbled noise.

He was just about to end the call, double check the number and redial, when a female voice answered with, "Yeah?"

"Uh, hello, yes... I need to speak with someone in your export sales department."

There was a long pause, and then in the background, he heard another female voice say, "Is it working? Then ask them how the weather is in Cloudsdale."

"Uh... hows the weather in Cloudsdale?"

"Is this a joke?" Lee said, double checking the invoice, looking for a name.

"I don't think they can understand me too well," the female voice said.

"I'm trying to speak with someone about my recent purchase," Lee said, trying to remain calm. "Who is this that I'm speaking with?"

"It's working, I think. My name's Rainbow Dash. What's yours?"

-- ~ --


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