I had the most awesome fun tonight. When stupid Pinkie, and grumpy Pinkamina were busy being all sad and crying, I decided to take over for awhile. I met this cute stallion named Drax, and we had the most fun ever! He's a bit weird, with dragon wings and all, and he can turn into some creepy creature. But he was so nice to us, helping miss mopey and the airhead get rid of all their baggage. He made them both cry, and that's saying something. Bubblehead Pinkie never cries.
But after they were all done with him, I knew it was my turn! I decided to have a little fun and throw my kind of party. Oooh, he made all sorta noises, and he knew a few good tricks himself. I even got to use the toys. Pinkie doesn't even know what they are for, and forgot where I hid them. It's been so long since I had any fun with them, ever since the Cakes walked in on me and Fluttershy. That poor filly wouldn't talk to us for weeks afterwards.
Oh wow I had so much fun, but I can't tell anypony, because I'm supposed to be some deep dark secret that the others wanna hide. Phooey! I never get to come out and play. But I think me and Draxy are gonna be good friends now. I just wish I could tell him our secret.
YES! That's it. I will write him a story. I will write it up like I'm Pinkie, and then let him find it. He won't have to know it's me. Then maybe we can have more fun, and he will never know it's not stupid Pinkie.
Hmm... but what to write about? I know! Isn't that the hardest part? Well, besides the title. I can never think up good titles. Bah... Pinkamina wants to write something now.
Oh, um. Yes the story is a good idea, but what if he doesn't like it? It would be so disappointing if we wrote him a nice story and then he got so upset that he stopped being our friend. I don't want him to ever be mad at us. Maybe we can just write about him. He may like that. We can write how much he helped us and how we love him and don't ever want him to leave.
Oh stop it, you crybaby. He isn't gonna leave us, not after the way I rocked his world. Once you go Pink, you just can't Think! He will come crawling back for more from Kinky Pie. What's that? Oh great, now the airhead wants to say something.
Oh I know what we should write about! Lets write about the party we just had. It was super-duper awesome fun and we all wanna do it again, don't we? Now we gotta write all about that, and then maybe he will like it enough that he will want to stay and party all the time!
Yea, whatever Pinkie. But it was MY kinda party that left him snoring on the bed over there. So how about you two just leave this to ‘ol Kinky Pie, and I will write all about the fun we had tonight.
I am sick of you two telling me what to do, especially you Pinkie. Always hiding me away like some sick child you don't want anypony to know about. Well now it's MY turn! I get to party! Because my business is being sexy, and sister, Business will be GOOD! So you two shut up, hold on, and lets have a little fun before he wakes up.
This isn't a letter you know. It's a diary, and it's supposed to be MY diary too. How else am I supposed to write about all the bad stuff that happens to me, and how my friends hurt me and don't wanna be my friends anymore?
Shut up Pinkamina. Go play with your rocks. We can't very well have three diaries can we? Ponies would think we are crazy or something...