Celestia's Story Spirit-by CloudMistDragon
The bastion shatters...and so does Celestia’s world...
This story began with a tragic ending in a princess’ bedroom...
“Princess Celestia, are you okay?” the concerned Princess Luna asked her completely broken and emotionally destroyed sister who was lying on her master bed crying harder than she ever had in her entire life if she was feeling alright.
“NO I’M NOT, YOU STUPID ALIEN-LIKE, EXTRATERRESTRIAL, LUNAR, ALIEN MORON WHO SHOULDN’T BE MY SISTER!” Celestia shouted like a guileful street fighter who was the king of the hill of the capital computer world.
“Sister...” Luna said through tears, “you said so many terrible things to me...but how could you find it in your heart to do something as evil as to compare me to an ALIEN?!”
“Because I AM EVIL!” Celestia cried in response. “Being an alien completely repudiated, cast out, shunned, and treated like a monster by her peers yet loved and adored by ponies who are alien to her is nothing compared to being a monster like me! I AM A DEMON!”
“That’s it!” Luna shouted while crying like a prince who had lost his position as the goddess of death. “Celestia, you are my sister! My flesh, blood, and spirit! If you are a demon...then that must mean I’m nothing but a monster too!
Feeling like a monster, the monstrous monster Luna ran out of the bedroom like an undead zombie spirit from Hollywood, as Celestia continued to pity herself in self-righteousness, knowing that the right thing to do after what had just happened to her was to hate herself.
“Oh Pinkie Pie, why...WHY YOU MAKE ME DIE?!” Celestia cries following a sigh, as she forgets to use past tense to describe her experience with a dark sky. When she remembered, this is what happens...
In the past, Equestria was a world of fiction, and still is today. However, that is all about to change in recent times when Pinkie Pie broke the fourth wall from the left of Equestria that had once protected the fictional world of imagined fantasy from...fantasy. That was created by the renowned visionaries from the realms of reality...People.
The People were the same people who called themselves bronies, but in this incarnation, they are simply known as the People. Through inspiration of viewing Equestria from a computer screen, they decided to create fantasies about Equestria on a computer as well, each one no matter how serious or silly, had the writer’s heart and spirit in it. These fantasies and the spirits created from the writer’s souls however transformed into another Equestria, and being Equestria, Equestria wanted to become one with itself.
When the spirits arrived at Equestria, they asked the most naive mare, Pinkie Pie, to give them cupcakes, which would give them enough spiritual energy to destroy the barrier surrounding Equestria. Pinkie happily acquiesced, but when she climbed over the wall to offer her treats to them, she accidentally toppled the wall over like a house of playing cards under a cardboard box being used to house a snake.
With that, the fantastic spirits entered Equestria, and filled it with more imagination than could possibly be imagined. Equestria transformed into a multiverse filled with alternate universe, many of which featured Trollestia...as the monster known as Molestia.
Celestia was so angry when she saw these fantasies become realities, that she blamed Pinkie Pie and had her thrown in prison. However, like cardboard on a wooden board, Pinkie wanked her way out of the clanky barred doors covered with planks, and the poor security she thanked.
With no one to point a phoenix’s righteous finger of justice at, Celestia became depressed, and in the midst of the story, she fell asleep.
When she woke up, she was in a strange dark room enshadowed by an enigma. The mysterious room was her bedroom. In the strange room, Celestia noticed something a little odd. She was erect, her body floating vibrantly twenty feet in the air from where her dysfunctional self had once been laid to rest.
“What’s happening to me, why am I in the air?” the airborne aerial alicorn asked herself in confusion.
“I am the answer to that question.” an anonymous voice answered as it created more questions.
Just then...all of the stygian darkness in the room started to transform into a limpid solid, and the being of blackness created from it was...Celestia!
“What, me?” Princess Celestia asked as she was released from the levitation spell being cast by Celestia, and landed on the bed from twenty feet in the air (she was uninjured because her body was nice and soft, and the bed was hard, creating perfect symmetry). “Who are you?!”
“I AM ME.” Celestia stated a capital point. “AND ME IS YOUR CREATOR.”
“WHAT YOU SAY TO THE TIME AND SPACE OF MY FACE?!” the spaced out Celestia screamed once again forgetting the state of time and punching ME (Malevolent/or Molesting Enigma) in the face.
“I’m saying that ME is the one who created you,” ME explained logically, “for I am your flesh, blood, and spirit, I was created by the People as your dark side, and I transformed the People’s view of Equestria itself, the spiritual incarnation of their souls. So I am not just your equal, I am not your father...I AM YOUR GRANDPA!”
“NO...That’s not true...that’s impossible!” Celestia cried as ME exposed her two breasts, her vagina, her virile freeman, her penis, her effeminate bubble rainbow gun, and other womanly features that Trollestia and Molestia would have. “NO.....NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!”
“Celestia please....become one with I...” the villainous ME asked nicely.
“NEVER!” Celestia yelled like a brony taking their shirt off while watching Dragon Ball Z. “I want to be a being of love, not darkness! For the sake of good, I shall use all my anger and hatred to eliminate my demons for good! Prepare to be stabbed with my horn of love!”
Celestia charged towards ME and stabbed her with her horn. The truth of love was revealed as Celestia stabbed her in all sorts of places, causing her to secrete exudating secret secretions of black goo from her body. ME laughed with triumph.
“What are you laughing about?” Celestia interrogated. “What are you going to do now, bleed on me?”
ME thought about that, and then responded “...YES.”
ME leaned in closer to Celestia, and like a holy grail, spilled divine fluids of evil over the vicious python known as Celestia.
“How are you not dead, I killed you with my insurmountable power of Death’s Des of the Grim Reaper’s love!” Celestia objected as she was blackened like an eclipsed adder of ebony.
“Your insurmountable power of HATRED that can not be surpassed...” ME replied happily, “because it is the strongest power level of hatred, equivalent to the largest number in the world, Infinity + 9000 + 1! And because hatred only makes me stronger...my power is now doubled the largest number! It’s over Celestia!”
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Celestia cried as she was engulfed by darkness and it was revealed that she was in reality, but trapped in her own world, which was bad because Celestia was a goddess, and her own world was the other ponies’ world, and it meant the world to her.
Celestia continued to scream and attempted to abate the evil on the master bed which had been bought from a jerk named Jack who sold master beds at his royal bait shop and johnsoned them to nobles because he liked to jerk around with people.
“NO, YOU CAN’T FOOL ME, THIS IS TOO OBVIOUS!” Celestia yelled and gave the obvious guards outside the wrong impression, leading them to run away from the doors in fear.
“That’s it, it’s time to end this!” Luna shouted as she returned to the bedroom upon hearing the noise, and like a hero who wanted to stop the earth from splitting the dark sky, barged into Celestia’s room. “Celestia, you must stop this!”
“No Luna!” the doomed Celestia shouted upon recognizing Luna’s voice. “I have to rectify the repercussions of my evil ways, and fight against the demon, myself!”
“No Celestia, you are not a demon,” Luna said upon making a newfound realization in her despair, “You are what you create.”
And then...Celestia was a true story.
An extremely random one-shot story that is not seriously written.
Celestia's Story Spirit-by CloudMistDragon
If your mind was distorted by the utter stupidity and insanity of this mess, please leave remarks of your deepest contempt and frustration. Thank you.