Date: 20 Sep 2014 9:40 PM Title: A Rainbow in the Twilight
Bit of a stiff read. Some lines just read like bad actors reading a script. I like your story, its really cute. some spelling errors here and there. Ive read some stories where it seemed like robots acting a play, zero emotion. Moving on to next chapter <3
3 out of 5
Date: 29 Jan 2012 10:59 AM Title: A Rainbow in the Twilight
LOVE i plz make more of this
I will, that can be assured. I got a new computer and the file didn't transfer over but I'll find a way! I love hearing that my work is appreciated! Thanks
Date: 17 Aug 2011 1:23 AM Title: A Rainbow in the Twilight
Don't five-star your own story if you care what people think about it.
The fic's not the worst I've read, but it's not great. Your form isn't bad; no major typos or paragraph errors. The problem is the story; it all just feels a bit contrived. Rainbow Dash loves Twilight? Why? Don't just drop that on us in the first paragraph; set it up.
You make a good point or two but the story is mostly about what happens because of that relationship not about the relationship. Thanks for the critisism!