Date: 11 Apr 2016 3:44 PM Title: A Lovely Afternoon
I think its nicley done story line wise. It could definitly use edditing. I also get the feeling that you didnt proof read or have annother pony proof read. Keep up the good work and i look forward to more stories from you.
Thank you I actually haven't used this site in quite some time and both of the stories that I posted here were more or less rough drafts. I have more polished versions posted here http://www.fimfiction.net/user/theomegabrony
At Fim Fiction.net they seem to have a more active community there.