writers block on totally unique idea. please help.

[FireBreath5150]

I've got a huge case of writers block on a story I've barely even started and need help. The story's called Road to Paradise and is going to be about a brony who is living in hell on earth while the brony community slowly falls apart. Let me show you what I have so far:

Road to Paradise

I live life one hour to the next. I don't know what happens as time ticks by nowadays, or care about what I might miss out on. There's never anything noteworthy that happens anyways. Oh I might find a penny lying on the sidewalk, or my brother ends up with a new girlfriend, but everything's usually just the same shit, different day. I wake up, have breakfast, endure 6 hours of misery at school, come home, and usually end up getting yelled at for coming home late. After that, I'd hole up in my room for the rest of the day while my drunkard father gets wasted.

Things used to be much better back when I was 10. I lived in a decent house, had a couple of really great friends, and had parents who actually gave a crap about my well being and than some. I remember every sunday I'd go out on a picnic with the rest of my family in Settler's Park. We'd always set up on the top of the same hill just to the left of the park's entrance and almost always brought the same food. Tyler would always tell a bunch of really bad jokes but we'd all laugh anyways. I don't think any one of us told my brother how awful his jokes really were.

Life was going smoothly until my mom got fired from her job. The income of my dad's job was really low and we soon didn't have enough money to pay the bills so we all moved to a cheaper house. not a week after the move, my dad go laid off and the family kept transferring to cheaper and cheaper houses until we ended up in the crappy place I ended up calling home for the next 8 years. My mom got depressed from living in "a piece of shit" and began taking drugs. After half a year, my mother became overwhelmed with everything going on and couldn't take anymore. She left home and never came back. A week later, her body was found in a ditch five miles from the city.

Words can't describe how I felt after hearing this. How any of us felt. My mother was the one person I could trust the most. The one person who I've always loved most. And now she's dead? It didn't make sense to me. When she left I hoped that she would come back to the family soon. I believed with all my heart that she would return to her husband and two sons with the same warm smile she always had. My dad took it worse than me. His wife meant everything to him. When she left, my dad became depressed himself and wouldn't talk to anyone. After he learned of mom's death, he locked himself up in his room for three days. Tyler was worried he killed himself but on day three, dad came out a changed man. The feeling me and my brother got from him was that he'd rather it had been one of us who'd died instead. We all changed for worse over the next couple of years. Tyler hid his misery by turning into a player, my dad began drinking to excess, and I locked up all my emotions and stopped caring about many things.

My life improved significantly when I discovered the joy of watching My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic. The characters are always so supportive of each other and live in such a happy environment. The land of Equestria differs quite a bit from the world we all know and love and sometimes seeing such happiness is contagious. Other times I'm smothered in depression for their world is free of war, drugs, and the rest of humanity's idiocy while I'm stuck on this dying planet run by a corrupted race.

That's all I got so far. I need something noteworthy to happen to bring this story to present tense but can't figure out what to do. I'd also like for my main character to run away from home early on in the story too. Any help and/or criticism would be greatly appreciated and please be harsh if criticizing.

P.S. Just changed a couple of things.

[Rune Dancer]

So are you looking for a human crossover story essentially? (A story where a human gets teleported/transfered to equestria by some means) or looking for something a bit more mundane?

[FireBreath5150]

So are you looking for a human crossover story essentially? (A story where a human gets teleported/transfered to equestria by some means) or looking for something a bit more mundane?

No crossover in this story. The character's gonna stay on earth from beginning to end or second last paragraph depending on where I go with this.

[Corporal Fluttershy]

You have to be careful about stories like this - especially if they're self-inserts. From a purely critical view, there's a fine line between pushing the whole "Urban Rat Race" and "Woe is my ultra-modern, western life gets me down."

Especially if FiM remains, in this story, a television programme. What makes this a story, as opposed to a recounting of factual events?

The problem here seems like there is no story. You've introduced the players and the stage they're going to perform on, but there's no script and so the show can't get started.

Finally, be prepared for some critical comments on this. While every fandom has certain tropes it tends to rally against when it comes to fanfiction (e.g. Twilight turns into an Alicorn and everyone's delighted), there's a huge glut of "My life sucks, ponies get me through the day". I don't doubt the sincerity of the messages they convey, but once you've raid one, you've already read dozens of those kinds of stories. If you're serious about it, I commend you but you'll need to work hard to put your tale above the shoulders of hundreds of others of a similar ilk.

[Rune Dancer]

Finally, be prepared for some critical comments on this. While every fandom has certain tropes it tends to rally against when it comes to fanfiction (e.g. Twilight turns into an Alicorn and everyone's delighted), there's a huge glut of "My life sucks, ponies get me through the day". I don't doubt the sincerity of the messages they convey, but once you've raid one, you've already read dozens of those kinds of stories. If you're serious about it, I commend you but you'll need to work hard to put your tale above the shoulders of hundreds of others of a similar ilk.

Couldn't have said it better myself. While i applaud you thinking out of the box on this one, i just cannot SEE a good story/plotline in this. I mean you've established yea the character watches FiM but other than that you have zilch for pony stuff so its really not a pony fic. If anything at all its a fictitious narrative that quite frankly is depressing. While i can forsee a potential audience for this one, if you're gonna push this particular story you need to make it completely obvious WHY FiM is part of this story. Also you need to establish a few big events that will catch the audiences attention, and not the "oh woe is me" kind of events.

Just a few thoughts.

[Chessiecat]

I... well, I would love to say 'Go for it' but this one might need some re-thinking. Any fanfic that's going out for people to read must have several elements.

What's the conflict? Man VS Machine, man vs God, man vs himself, etc.
Where is the story from the show? It is likely to end up mostly a story about this human (I assume you) whose life is unhappy and while that may be cathartic, it's not very fun to read, particularly if your target audience is a fandom.
What growth is the character progressing through to reach a place at the end where he/she has learned something which brings him/her OUT of their trials?

All of these things will make your story interesting. Start hunting them down, then give it a go. Keep going!

[Hazencruz]

Finally, be prepared for some critical comments on this. While every fandom has certain tropes it tends to rally against when it comes to fanfiction (e.g. Twilight turns into an Alicorn and everyone's delighted), there's a huge glut of "My life sucks, ponies get me through the day". I don't doubt the sincerity of the messages they convey, but once you've raid one, you've already read dozens of those kinds of stories. If you're serious about it, I commend you but you'll need to work hard to put your tale above the shoulders of hundreds of others of a similar ilk.

This guy is right. I have a story that's an HiE [Human in Equestria] kinda thing and while I know it is different from most HiE stories in a lot of ways (through the comments of readers and me writing it), there have been a lot of people who have told me I was an idiot for ever even writing my story and that it's not different at all. You must prepare yourself for this kind of short-sighted criticism if you write any kind of story like this unless you instantly (in the first paragraph) introduce something that's going to show your readers that your story is very different.

From your description I also can't tell if your story is a tragedy, or a tragic drama. You have a beginning of a concept. A very raw idea. Like some of the people above me say, you need to flesh it out and figure out what you want your story to be about. Chessie asked where the conflict is, and I wonder that myself. A possible source of conflict could always be that it's discovered that the main character watches MLP and is bullied about it at school (it's cliche but it's a start). I'd love to see more tragic endings in Human/Pony stories. My little Dashie, in my opinion, did tragedy right. If you haven't read that story I'd strongly recommend it, as your story reminds me a lot of that same sort of thing.